Thursday, November 8, 2007
Our New Office Mascot
Almost immediately upon my arrival to work this morning, I was approached by my co-worker Beans to let me know that he had the horrific experience of having a flea jump on him in his office this morning. Obviously traumatized, Beans sent out this email:
Hi Department Manager,
I’m not sure what you can do about this, but I just had a flea jump on me in my office. I’m fairly certain that I didn’t bring it in, as I don’t have any pets (that I know of), and I haven’t been out traipsing through fields or cuddling with other people’s pets recently. I know this building isn’t in pristine condition, but I didn’t think it had fleas. I suppose I am just a little worried about how a flea would get into my office… and where it is now…
(What makes this email so funny to me is imagining Beans, who has a quasi-Afro, skipping through fields of wildflowers.)
Naturally, other emails have followed.
From the Director's admin:
Beans had a flea jump on him while he was in his office this morning and he doesn’t even own a pet. Has anyone else encountered critters in their office? We are trying to determine if we need to spray.
My friend (and co-worker) Myra's response:
Well…if you ask Leslie, Beans might qualify as his own pet, with the hair and all.
My response (to a select few):
Do lizards count as critters? I have a pet one in my office named Barnaby. He’s in the Witness Protection Program though, so don’t tell anyone.
Another employee's response:
Will Beans please report immediately to the Security Department to be measured for a flea collar.
I’m sorry, but Beans is very busy helping his flea train for the flea circus.
Finally, Beans stepped in, true hero that he is, and showed us how he's all man:
Wow. What an outpouring of love.
…As I mentioned to a few people before, thank god for Paris Hilton. Otherwise I would have no selection in collars to wear. I mean, I remember the days where a man would have to resort to your standard collars… beige and yellow, semi-trasparent. Today man has a full line of perfectly stylish collars to choose from: rhinestone, leather or suede, or more manly options like plaid. Chaps for men is sooo last decade… for a night on the town, a can just use a little dash of Advantage behind neck and I am ready to go.
Thank you all for your support through these trying… and itchy times.
Beans is so getting a flea collar as a personal gift from me tomorrow. I may even include some flea spray and a chew toy. Because that's how I roll.