Of Marriage, Downtown, and Love Letters: Day Two of Our Anniversary Trip

Monday was our official one-year wedding anniversary. The three of us started off the day by going back to the Global Market for lunch. This time we actually got to order the pizza we wanted. Afterwards, we took a walk down to the park near Wade's house. It was quite pretty, because it was all green and quiet. We walked around the lake and then stopped and rested a bit on this concrete stage-like thing. I laid on my back and stared up at the trees. The light was falling on the leaves perfectly, and a gentle breeze was blowing. I decided that it needed to be captured on video (even though the video ended up being pretty boring).



Afterwards, Wade drove us to the Grand Hotel in downtown Minneapolis and dropped us off for a night of lavishness. (Thanks for the rec, Kim!)





We had decided that our anniversary night needed to be extra special, and the Grand Hotel certainly made sure we were well taken care of. I loved our room. The bed was amazing. So comfortable!





You'll notice that the bathtub has its own TV and the toilet has its own door.









We hung out in our room for awhile and then ventured out to explore the downtown area.



We ended up in the nearby Nicollet Mall, and it took us forever to find actual stores. During our search, we sat down and had some ice cream from Cold Stone. I hadn't had any in a year or so, so it was a really nice treat. When we finally found the stores, we were kind of disappointed by the selection.

Roy decided that he wanted to find a bookstore (which suited me just fine), so we followed our noses (and green Barnes & Noble bags) until we found it. I found a book of love letters that seemed appropriate for the day, and I sat reading it on the second floor facing the street. It was early evening at this point, and the streets were relatively quiet. I felt very calm and happy to be sitting there reading those very private letters on our anniversary in a lovely, lovely city.



While we were in the store, my mom called at 6:30 PM and said, "Do you know what you were doing a year ago at this moment?" I thought it was so sweet that she remembered the time when we officially became husband and wife. We talked for a bit, Roy and I made our purchases, and then we went back to our hotel.



My original plan was for us to have a nice dinner out, but we decided to stay in, order room service, and watch a movie. We watched Made of Honor (it had to be a wedding-related movie), ate our yummy room service food, and later ordered dessert (a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a banana split). Although it was really low-key, it was a wonderful evening.

(Psst - The below pictures are awful. I took them without flash with my brother's point and shoot, and they were really dark. I tried to fix them in Lightroom, but they just look noisy. Oh well.)





The best part? Our disgustingly sappy declarations of love to each other. Roy and I are always good at telling each other how we feel, and we do it often. But we said it a little more and with a little more oomph on our anniversary. Cheesy ol' me even shed a few tears. I am so very, very lucky.

One Year

I, Leslie, take you, Roy, to be my husband, in equal love, as a mirror for my true Self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy.

Roy, I choose you today and every day, for the rest of my life.

I have already given you my heart. Now I give you my life.



One year ago today, Roy and I were married.



We had a beautiful evening ceremony, and a simple, fun reception immediately following. Our wedding was not stylish, lavish, or over-the-top expensive. But it reflected us (and our bank accounts), and that's what matters. I wouldn't change a thing (except a couple of our vendors).



I've been doing a lot of thinking about what makes a marriage. And I've realized that it's not just the two people in the marriage; it's family and friends and the rest of the world that impact this most sacred of relationships. I am so lucky to have a wonderful support system, because it helps me to be a better wife and friend to Roy. And my support system also makes for a better me.



This year has been wonderful, and it's also been hard. It feels like I've lived a whole lifetime; I have definitely evolved into a slightly different version of the girl who got married on July 14, 2007. And this new person loves her husband even more than she did on their wedding day.



I am so excited to see what the future holds for us. There are so many good things in store for us; we will take them and hold ourselves up and together during the hard times. I feel that anything is possible with Roy by my side. He helps me be my best self and loves me when I am at my lowest. He is my love, my heart, and my life.



I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Our Last Monthiversary

Today we've been married 11 months.

This is not our last monthiversary, but it's probably the last one I'll write about on here. Soon it'll be our one year anniversary of being married, and it seems a bit silly to keep up the monthiversary tradition past the first year mark. What I'd like to do instead is celebrate our marriage every single day by doing simple things like saying "I love you" daily. It's often the little things that really add up and count the most. We have always been good at both the little and big things, and as the months and years go by, celebrating and respecting our union, I feel, will be what will hold us together...forever.

Oddly, I used to not believe in forever. I thought it was a silly concept, but it just goes to show that people can and should challenge your assumptions. I love how life has always managed to surprise me - one of the greatest surprises has been Roy. Imagine such a kind-hearted, gentle soul like Roy loving a neurotic obsessive like me. It's really wonderful to be married to someone who embraces all of my qualities. It's the best feeling ever, actually. And I am the luckiest person in the world, not just because I am married to Roy, but because I married into his family who has always accepted me as one of them.

Sadly, this weekend I am out of state visiting my mom and uncle, and Roy stayed home due to the high cost of airfare. But even though we are apart today, I am still celebrating us. My vow is to always celebrate us.

I love you, hubsand. Forever.

Triple Whammy

Okay, so today I have a triple whammy celebration going on.

1) It's Mandy's birthday! She is 31 years young today. Happy Birthday, Mandy!

2) It's the two year anniversary of our getting engaged! I haven't told our engagement story on my blog yet, so maybe I'll do that one of these days.

3) It's our tenth monthiversary! I won't lie: this month has been challenging for me. This is the first month where I've thought, "Hey, this marriage stuff isn't so easy sometimes." We are good, but there have been times this month that I've felt some tension and distance between us. Roy and I are complete opposites, and we don't know how to handle each other sometimes. However, I think the fact that we are opposites is a big reason why we are such a successful couple. We really do complement each other, and we respect each other's differences. Every marriage has its ups and downs, and frankly, there's no one else I'd rather experience those with than my cute li'l Roylet.

So, yeah. Today is a happy day.

Nine months!

Roy and I have been married for nine months today! It's not that long, but at the same time, I have no clue where the time has gone.

Marriage has been fun, challenging, and interesting so far. I can't really say that things have changed between us. We are the same happy couple we always have been, but marriage has increased the depth of my feelings and commitment towards Roy and our relationship.

It's strange that about four years ago I couldn't imagine myself ever getting married. And now I can't imagine myself not being married to Roy.

He's just the cutest, the sweetest, and the most understanding person I've ever known. I'm so lucky!

(Okay, I'm done gushing!)

Happy Birthday, Roy!

Today is my husband's 29th birthday!

I took a picture of him yesterday and everything just for this post, but I forgot to upload the picture before I left for work. So here's an older picture of us; I believe it was taken in June 2007, shortly before we got married.

Anyway, 29 years ago, Roy was born! What an awesome day that was. I myself was still in the womb and wouldn't be making my appearance for another two months and five days. I wonder if I sensed then that my future husband had just been born...

Happy birthday, Roy! You are truly my hero and the most important person in my life. You've taught me how to love and why it's important to live life. I am so honored to share your life with you. Here's to many more birthdays and much happiness!

Three Reasons to Celebrate

1) We have been married for eight months today.

2) Three years ago today, Roy and I went out on our first date.

3) One year ago today, I quit smoking.

I had a long blog entry about all this planned, but this week has been super stressful and emotional for me on many levels. So I took a mental health day today and am also celebrating making it through hard times with my wits intact. A big reason for this is Roy, who is truly my hero.

I would like to talk more about these things, particularly quitting smoking, but I'll wait for another time when I feel more inspired.

Double the Love!

Happy Valentines Day!

This isn't really a special holiday, since it's purely commercial, but I embrace any chance to celebrate anything. Especially because today is also our 7th monthiversary of being married!

We don't have big plans for tonight. Neither one of us is big on crowds, so we avoid going out to eat on Valentines Day. Instead, we'll have a nice dinner at home.

This weekend is a different story. We're going to stay one night at a local B&B called the Morey Mansion Inn. I have been fascinated with this place ever since I first saw it years ago. It is one of the most amazing houses I've ever seen. We wanted to stay there on our wedding night, but it was too far away from our wedding site. So now we are leaping at the chance to stay there, even though it's quite pricey. We are justifying this expense by not getting each other gifts and saying that we are doing this to also celebrate our 3-year dating anniversary, which is exactly 1 month from today.

I truly can't believe that it's already been 7 months since our wedding day. Time goes by so fast. So far marriage has actually been pretty easy, though I know we'll have tough times eventually. I'm just grateful to be married to Roy, just in case you didn't get it the first 50,000 times I said it.

6 months already?!

We have been married for 6 months today. That's half a year, people!

I'm not normally a person who takes many things for granted. I am, by nature, a reflective person, and because of that, I am always aware of how good my life is and how lucky I am.

This month, though, I realized that there are times when I don't give Roy enough credit. He does so many things just to make me happy, and while I'm big on saying "thank you," I don't know if I always acknowledge how grateful I am for his presence in my life.

He is, quite simply, one of the best people I have ever known, and I am so honored to be his wife. I am going to try much harder to give credit where credit is due. I really need to thank him more often for putting up with my craziness and for letting me be myself.

Happy 6 months!

Memory Month: 2007 - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I can't believe that 2007 is almost over! I say that at the end of every year, but this year is particularly close to my heart - I'm almost afraid to see it go. It has been truly amazing and full of so many ups and downs. Here is my year in review:


The Good

1) I got married! It's true what they say - it was the most amazing day of my life. But it's also true that it doesn't all go downhill from there. In fact, my love for Roy has grown so much since our wedding day. Our relationship has matured in a way that amazes me (not that our relationship was immature before or anything). I truly can't wait to see what the future has in store for us.

2) I found out who my friends are. I have built some incredible friendships this year. Having Mandy as my woman of honor in my wedding really strengthened our bond. Having Melinda and Kim to talk to about wedding/marriage/life ups and downs (not to mention the antics of really stupid people that we all so love making fun of) really drove home the point that people you meet online can turn into awesome friends. Working with Myra on a daily basis showed me that you really can meet the coolest people in the most unlikely places. Of course, along with these newer friendships, there are still my old friends, who I see less often or never at all: Candice, Genevee, Lynn, Laci, and Amanda. And who could forget all the girls that I hang out with online on a regular basis? (Exceptions abound in the online department, because let's face it - some of those bitches on the Nest/the Knot are crazy. Or stupid. Or both.)



3) I caught the dreaded baby fever. Worse things could happen, I'm sure. Acknowledging this desire of mine as something that I'm finally ready for has been confusing. Having children has always been something that I felt was better reserved for the future. It is so weird knowing that the future is finally here. Well, sort of.

4) I became a part of the blogosphere. Although I kept a blog on MySpace prior to my blog here, that doesn't really count. I can't believe the sheer volume of interesting blogs out there - I'm so glad I switched and was able to join the network.

5) I wrote a decent poem and many good blog posts. Writing is still one of the main things that centers me and defines who I am.

6) I read a whole lot of books, most of which were good. Reading is so important to me, and despite how busy and chaotic this year was, I'm glad I was able to take the time to read some books.

7) We got a new car. And it's awesome. Neither one of us will be needing a new car anytime soon.

8) I became part of a new family. I am so lucky to have 2 California mommies that I adore, a sister-in-law who I consider my friend, a brother-in-law who tolerates me, and my adorable nephews and niece.

9) I quit smoking. After 10+ years of smoking, I finally quit - and this time I feel it's for good. It was truly one of the best things I've ever done for myself, especially because it was not easy. I managed to quit cold turkey in March, in the middle of planning a wedding and finishing up finals week. I'm very proud of myself.

10) I realized, like never before, that it's the people in your life who make it what it is. I really used to keep myself at a distance from others. I had major trust issues. I still have them, but I'm learning not to let them get in the way of forming important relationships. I would be lost without the people I love. I didn't really realize this until I got married. Something in me changed that day (and in the days and months leading up to it). I realized that we are all connected and that it was meant to be that way - because human beings need each other.


The Bad

1) Roy got into a car accident. I am so relieved that he didn't get hurt. That would have been so awful.

2) I didn't get the job I wanted (which still really bugs me). I'm still trying to find another job. So far, no luck. There's a possiblity within my own department, but that's a whole other story.

3) My current job has made me apathetic and lazy. This is something that needs to change. I'm not sure if it's my attitude that needs adjusting or if I need an actual job change.

4) I'm suffering from burnout in regards to school. I really want to finish, but I can't make myself care as much as I used to. I used to be a big-time overachiever and highly motivated. I am still a good student, but not as good as I used to be.

5) I cried. A lot. I have cried while watching Scrubs, Gilmore Girls, My Name is Earl, and trailers for upcoming movies. I have sobbed over videography, photography, and flowers. I have wept over the loss of a friendship and the deaths of those I've never even met. This penchant for tears, while embarassing, is something I'm grateful for, because it's how I express my sorrow, frustration, and happiness.


The Ugly

1) I found out who my friends are. Turns out that my friend of 20+ years and I aren't really connecting anymore (which I knew way before this year). In a moment of extreme sadness, when I realized that she wasn't coming to my wedding and didn't think anything of it, I told her how disappointed I was. She called it a guilt trip. I called it honesty. We haven't spoken since - and maybe it's for the best. I still think of her often, but we have really grown apart. It sucks, but it happens.

2) People died. So many good people left this life in 2007, as people do every year. Some of them were brave enough to share their battles with the world through their blogs, and I think they are incredible. As depressing as it may be, I'm going to be adding a section onto my sidebar for those who have passed on and left their wisdom behind. It's really the least I can do to honor them and to raise awareness of the diseases that killed them.

*****

As you can see, it was one hell of a year. So sorry to see you go, 2007. Bring it on, 2008!

Our 5th Monthiversary!

A note to my husband while he sleeps soundly:

This month has had its ups and downs. On the down side, we lost your car and my opportunity for the job I wanted. On the up side, everything else has happened, including watching TV/movies together, going shopping together, sleeping together, making life decisions together, laughing together, just being together.

You see, I can deal with the downs as long as we're together.

Thanks for being my other half. And for being my happy ending - and my happy beginning.

Love,
your behbehs

Month #4!

Roy and I have been married 4 months today! How the time does fly! In honor of our fourth monthiversary, I thought I'd share some random things that I love about my one and only.

1) His blue eyes make me want to swoon and stuff.

2) He is very accepting of others, even stupid others, where I have a (very) low tolerance for stupid others.

3) I love how he buys random things just because they're cool (like a flask, for example) and then never uses them.

4) I find it hilarious that he does most of his reading in the bathroom.

5) I love his response when I tell him I'm going to have a drink with friends: "Let me know when you want me to come pick you up, you lush."

6) He is always the one to get up and lock our cats in the bathroom as punishment for ripping up the carpet outside our bedroom door in the middle of the night.

7) He helps out around the house and with errands.

8) He is going to be a great father someday.

9) He has the best stomach in the world.

10) He laughs at all my jokes.

11) When I am really stuck on something I have to do for school, he talks me through it and gets me unblocked.

12) His first response to a number of questions is "I don't know."

13) He has the handwriting of a second grader.

14) He doesn't fight with me, but he stands up for himself when he feels he should.

15) He can flare his nostrils. So jealous.

16) He has a lone patch of hair between his shoulderblades into which I can stick my nose.

17) He loves TV on DVD.

18) He wears his manly necklace and wedding ring without fail.

19) He often says things like, "I'm not out of shape. Round is a shape."

20) He loves his mom.

3 Months Marriaged

Today we have been married for a quarter of year. It's not a long time, and you haven't even been in my life for 3 years yet. But I can't imagine my life without you. This morning I noticed how long and dark your eyelashes were. I'm sure I've noticed this feature of yours before, but this morning it felt like a new discovery. It reminded me that there will always be more to learn about you, that we as humans have undiscovered secrets hidden in us, sometimes within plain sight. I hope that we will always search for a little more truth and meaning inside each other.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. We'd been dating for approximately 3 weeks. It was Sunday, April 3, 2005. Your birthday was the day before, and we went out to eat dinner with your family the night before, the first of many to come. We were lying in your bed together, and it was getting dark outside. In one moment, I realized that I loved you, and I rolled over, as if to hide from the realization. I remember feeling torn, because I was so happy to love you yet so terrified of that love and its many implications. Tears sprang to my eyes, and while I was wiping them away, you said softly, "I love you." Imagine my surprise and happiness when you told me you loved me only an instant after I realized I loved you. It was one of the best moments of my life thus far. It felt a little like destiny, a concept in which I don't really believe.

This month we had a "fight" about our wedding videographer. I have to put it in quotes, because you're such a gentle soul that you don't fight with me. I was so upset with you - and then I realized I wasn't upset with you at all. I was upset with our videographer. And then I got upset with myself for hurting your feelings, because all I was trying to do was express my own. It's so hard to be human sometimes. I have a degree that focuses on the love of language, and yet I can't even say what I mean sometimes.

But now I can say this: that I love you, that I'll always try to do right by you, that every day I accept you as my husband and myself as your wife. You are my partner on my path. Every day we are marrying each other all over again. Today is only one of many to come.

Happy Second Monthiversary!

Today is our 2 month anniversary of being married. I suppose I sound like a high school girl counting how many months she's been with her boyfriend. Well, that's cool, because I believe that there is such a thing as too much routine - and we should always find reasons to celebrate and be happy.

2 months is so not a long time, but it has gone by so fast. I am glad the wedding planning is over, and I have mostly recovered from my post-bridal blues. We are settled into our life as husband and wife and are enjoying ourselves as much as we can before school starts again.

Now, if only people would stop asking when we're going to have kids.

The Nest

This is inspired by some emails that have passed between me and the lovely Kim.

So, those of us who plan our weddings with the help of the Knot are supposed to move over to the Nest once we're married. We all need to learn how to become good little obedient wives, apparently. I have done my fair share of poking around the Nest, and it all seems like way too much of a cliche at times. There's a cooking board, a baby board, a money board, and so on and so forth. While these things have their place in our lives, why are we all reduced to being Suzie Homemakers? I don't get it. I don't like to cook. I don't want to have babies right now. (Even when we do decide to have kids, I don't want to discuss my cervical mucus with anyone. Although I'm telling you right now, it's blue. ;) I certainly don't need ideas for entertaining, as our living space isn't really big enough for dinner parties. Anyway, why would I throw a dinner party? It sounds like a lot of work.

Personally, I think the Nest should create a board called "How to Vacuum in Heels." Now that is useful information for those of us who strive to be great wives.

3 Weeks

It's been quite awhile since I last blogged, but I've been busy. Of course, it's been primarily wedding stuff that has been keeping me busy. I finally finished my last paper of the quarter, which has left me a lot of time to catch up on the wedding.

As usual, I have mixed feelings about this road I'm traveling. Of course I'm happy to be marrying my best friend in 3 short weeks, but with every bit of happiness I feel, it seems like there is a piece of sadness that accompanies it. I've also reached a point of exhaustion where it doesn't feel like my mind is working correctly. And I've stopped having such an opinion about things and answer quite a few questions with the classic "I don't know." That last bit makes me suspect the worst: I'm turning into my future husband! He's definitely not a bad guy, but I definitely don't want to be him. (Mostly because that means I would be marrying myself.)

So, 3 weeks from now our reception will be winding down (according to timeline). We will be married. It sounds so strange to say that even after over a year of preparation. A huge part of me is so ready for this, but there's this small part inside of me that whispers, "What if you fail?" We have often talked about our fears of marriage, and one thing I am scared of is that we will wake up one day 20 years from now and won't even know each other anymore. It is up to both of us to try to be vigilant and try to make sure that doesn't happen.

If only I knew then what I know now. I would've told anyone that all of my oldest friends (all still in Texas) would be at my wedding. Now none of them are coming. I am starting a new chapter in my life without some huge pieces of my own personal history. I don't know how to feel about that, except that I'm trying to accept it. It's no one's fault. But that doesn't mean that I like it.

I have been the queen of mood swings lately. I just want someone to hand me some Prozac so I can feel a little more in control of my emotions. But at the same time I don't want to ever lose this feeling of being completely alive and completely in touch with what I feel. Despite the stressful experiences with vendors, friends, and family, I am so happy to have gone on this journey. It's a journey that so many women go on, and it carries with it all kinds of implications. One of these is that this is the final step into adulthood. There is no turning back now. It's all kids, work, and maintaining a home from here on out. Or that's the myth we buy into, anyway.

Me - I just want to stay young and just stay myself. I've found someone who will let me do that. I've found someone I want to walk the path with. In 3 weeks, I will attest to this in front of our nearest and dearest. All of my preparation will come down to that one statement of "I do."

40 Days

I spoke to a particularly enlightening person today about what it means to get married. With 40 days left to go, the wedding is falling into place like I never thought it would. Things that I could never envision before are now clear in my mind and will become a reality on July 14. I have said over and over throughout this process that it's been hard because of the whole "bride" persona. I have been taken over by that persona and sometimes feel I have lost myself in the process. Dishes lay dirty in the sink for days at a time. The laundry piles up. Emails remain unread and unanswered. I am a very anal and obsessive person, and I have had to let all that go and give in to the chaos that is wedding planning. But it's so much more than that: it's MARRIAGE planning. I keep saying that I want my life back, but I keep forgetting that my life probably won't ever be the same again. In 40 days it won't just be my life. It'll be OUR life. Sometimes that scares me. Sometimes I'm elated. But always I am awestruck at the strange way that life can surprise me and how I have changed in ways I never would have foreseen.

This is the first picture Roy and I ever took together, at the end of April 2005. We were at a party, and everything was shiny and new. A little over two years later, the shiny part has mostly worn off and left behind a deep, deep love in its place. I have no idea what I was thinking in this picture, but I look happy. This is something that I want to hold onto forever, for better or for worse.

75 days to go

I never thought that I would feel this way, but I feel as though all the different paths that I have been on throughout my life have led me right here, to this marriage that will take place in 75 days. I don't really believe in destiny, but sometimes it's hard not to when I think about how everything has worked out so far. I have grown so much as a person in my relationship with Roy. I've never had as much faith in myself or another person as I do in our relationship. It amazes me, quite simply, to really feel love and commitment for someone. It feels like I have finally come home after a very long time.

In the process of planning our wedding, I have second-guessed every wedding-related decision, but I have never second-guessed the most important one: to marry Roy. Sure, I get scared and worry about the future. But I never wonder whether or not I'm making the right decision. I just know that I am.

I wish that my past self could have met my present self. She could've used some guidance in relationships and life. By no means do I know all there is to know, but I have grown up quite a bit in the past few years. Hell, even in the last year, I have changed and grown quite a bit. It's an emotional journey I'm on, and one that I'm very grateful for.