I can't get started. So ask me anything.

A hodgepodge of thoughts:



1) I saw the above e-card at someecards and got a good chuckle out of it. I think sometimes, when faced with something so absurd, there's nothing to do but laugh. It's not absurd that Heath Ledger might be awarded a posthumous Oscar (have the Oscars already happened?) - it's that the card is oddly true. A dead guy is more successful than me.

I guess that all depends on how you define success. I'm alive, he's dead - I've actually got one leg up on him just because I'm breathing and responding to stimuli. So technically I might be more successful.

2) Several people have told me lately that I am in touch with my emotions in a way that most people aren't. When I was a kid, I often hid my emotions, so much so that it backfired on me in a big way as a young adult. I didn't make the conscious choice to get in touch with my emotions; my thinking just seemed to shift (probably out of necessity), and out came Leslie, emotional whirlwind.

I still have to constantly remind myself that it's okay to feel. I've lost count of the times when I've said to Roy, "I don't know why I feel so bad/happy/angry/whatever about this." He always patiently explains to me that feelings just are. And then it all makes more sense. How sad is it that I still think that I need someone else's permission to feel the way I do?

Maybe it's not sad at all; maybe I am just still learning how to understand the need to have feelings. It is, after all, something I denied myself for quite a few years.

3) Things I want:

to dye my hair brown
to know what people say when they talk to themselves
a nap
a personal assistant
clarity
for that chick in Accounting to stop emailing me

4) I feel that lately I am just kind of floating around, or rather speeding around, and I really need something to become clear to me. I am completely aimless and yet I am hastening toward a rapidly-approaching future. I am always asking questions of the world and its inhabitants, but rarely do I feel that the world asks me anything. So here goes. Ask me something. Ask me anything. I promise I'll answer your questions later, should you decide to ask.

5) Thank you.

Guten Tag!

I got tagged by phairhead to post ten truths about myself that I have not yet blogged about. Thanks, phairhead! I'm not big on tags and stuff, but I'm at home feeling kind of sneezy, so what the hell.

1) I love picking my nose. Now, before you freak out, it's not like I walk around with my finger up my nose. But if there's a goober in there that the Kleenex can't get, I don't mind discreetly digging it out with one of my cute little digits. The best boogers are the dry ones that stick to the inside of my nose - love!

2) I have about 115 credits on PaperBackSwap, which means that I am eligible to receive 115 books. I've started ordering books for the kiddo, but it will take awhile to deplete my stash of credits (a good thing).

3) I don't think I'm very interesting. I often think how cool it'd be to be someone like dooce and to be super duper popular, but I'm just not that girl. And when it comes down to it, I don't think I could handle the popularity anyway. I like anonymity. I'm a lurker by nature (online, anyway).

4) I collect links. I star things in my Google Reader that appeal to me and often never reference most of them again. I bookmark tons of links and then never use most of them. Every once in awhile, I go through my bookmarks and it's like Christmas.

5) I would love to photograph the inside of people's homes. I am pretty fascinated by the way others keep their houses.

6) I would love to be a professional snoop. I don't snoop in real life, which is probably why I do so much snooping (lurking) online. Yeah, I sound creepy.

7) I could fit in a highchair with the tray on when I was 18. I'd love to see if I still could. The end result might depress me, though.

8) I took dance lessons/classes for thirteen years, from age five to eighteen. Even though it's been a long, long while since I've performed, I still miss it.

9) I often wonder if I have what it takes to succeed. I have always had big dreams, but it seems that I just lack discipline. Because of this, I wonder what matters more: talent or diligence?

10) It took me all of ten seconds to come up with the (lame) title for this post. Here, have a picture for your troubles.



So, now you all know what a nose-picking, boring, stalking wannabe dancer I am. But at least I could still fit in a highchair when I was 18. That counts for something.

Spork it!

I've been going through drafts of my unpublished blog posts, and I found this one. Only 24 more drafts of posts left to complete!

I found out about this quiz from Alejna.

You Are a Spork

You have a playful, eccentric sense of humor. You are creative. You see the world in bold colors. You are a dabbler. You love to experiment. You aren't an expert in anything, but you know a little about everything.

What Utensil Are You?

She also posted two really cool pictures of giant utensils, one of which I've seen before:



And here's the giant fork, a sight which would be so awesome to experience:



These aren't my pictures, but you can click here to read a little more about them.

And don't forget to tell me which utensil you are! These things really matter!

Hi.

I'm breaking my five-day silence with a pretty random post. Without pictures, unfortunately.

-My computer and external hard drive have both been giving me a lot of trouble since last week. Frankly, at the moment I feel like throwing both of them out of the window and starting fresh. I want to get a Mac, but I can't really justify it right now because my computer is still under warranty. And yes, I took my computer in to be fixed last week, and it came out even worse.

-I did a photo session this past weekend, and I haven't been able to share it due to my computer issues. It's not like my computer is not working at all, but last night I opened Lightroom to do some editing - only to find that everything I've worked on since June is gone. It's a good thing that I am good about saving things on the hard drive. It's a bad thing that I can't trust my computer enough to keep everything on the hard drive. It's also a bad thing that I can't even do a backup of my files because the external hard drive makes my computer crash.

-I am also going crazy because I feel like we have too much stuff. None of it seems to have a place.

-At work today I was hit with the desire to rearrange our bedroom. So that's what we've been working on tonight. I'm sure it will take awhile to complete it. Of course, this is leading me to rethink all the rooms in our house to see how we can better utilize our space. But so far the notable changes in our bedroom are: 1) We removed all the books, the TV and DVD player, and our bed frame and headboard. Now our bed sits directly on the floor underneath the only window in the room. 2) We moved the fishtank into the bedroom onto the stand where the TV was. I think this is a better place for it as it's a much steadier foundation for the tank. I'm pretty excited about these changes, because our bedroom feels much more open now. We have a lot more wall space, which I am going to use to display a whole lot of art that we have floating around on our walls. I'm also stoked about removing the TV, because I've heard that it's better to keep things like that out of the bedroom.

-I am not a big fan of the wood panelling in our house and am dying to paint over it. But alas, we are renters, not owners.

-I spent the majority of this summer being pretty darn lazy. All of a sudden, I feel this desire to get things done. It hit me yesterday, and so I have been keeping pretty busy catching up on things. Productivity is a good feeling. I think it's come about because it's September, and my body is very in tune with the changes that September brings.

-Speaking of changes and September, I figured out a way to finish my MA this year without hardly ever having to go on campus. I'm going to take my foreign language online, and the only thing I will have to do other than that is work on my thesis. Fortunately, I don't need to be on campus to do that. After many, many years of adjusting my life for my school schedule, I finally won't have to. This is amazing to me. I feel like a different person.

-I signed up to participate in several cool projects, all designed to nurture my creative soul. I am very excited. Feel free to sign up too, if you want.

-I feel that there are big things on the horizon. I'm not sure what they are. For all I know, it could just be that feeling I get when the seasons change, but it feels that things are stirring, things are happening.

-Tonight I am content with my life.

Feet and Face

1) My husband has the most beautiful feet.
2) We have the ugliest wood panelling in both bedrooms of our apartment.
3) I think it's very cute that Roy hung up his employee-of-the-quarter plaques that he got from his old job, but I secretly wish that he would take them down because I am not a big fan of the plaque look.



1) I like my new haircut. My bangs are a work in progress, but I like them that way.
2) Do you see that red blotch in the white of my eye? It's been there since the surgery. It makes me look like I've lived a bit.



1) I look like I'm 12 and trying to hug the camera.

I have a doozy of a post coming up. My head has been absolutely swimming with ideas lately. Yesterday, after having a long talk with someone I trust, I began putting my thoughts down on paper. Actually, I began typing. So far I have six single-spaced pages, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's more coming. I'll try to break up the post with some pictures, though.

Tagged, once again

I've been tagged (twice), by both Sher and Amy. Thanks for the tag, ladies!

I have actually done this meme before, but it's been long enough that I feel I can do it again. That said, I'm supposed to post 7 random things about myself and link to 7 others, but I normally don't tag people, so feel free to tag yourself if you want to participate.

And now, for the wonderful random stuff...

1) I love my cats as if they were my children. I know that probably puts me into the "crazy cat woman" category, but honestly, I don't care. My kitties make me so incredibly happy. I can't imagine how much I will love my actual children!

2) My fingernail on my wedding ring finger is split down the middle and has been like that for as long as I can remember.

3) I could not swallow pills until I was in my early 20s. I attribute this to accidentally taking some off-limits medication when I was 3 years old. I distinctly remember both my mom and dad's hands in my mouth trying to get the chewed-up pills out. It sounds silly, but it was a little traumatic for me.

4) My biggest desire is to lead an authentic life, and often I feel like I am failing.

5) As much as I want to be done with school, I am scared of being intellectually atrophied without it. I know that I will miss it when I'm done.

6) I have a raging guilt complex, which is a subject for a whole other blog post.

7) I have always felt a little bit doomed. Perhaps it's my fear of abandonment or maybe it's my father issues, but I am always waiting for tragedy to strike. While this feeling of doom isn't usually debilitating, I can't deny that it's there. I tend to call it "realism," but actually, I think it's a deep-seated fear of losing myself and those I love to something horrible and tragic.

And to add in an extra fact, just because I feel like it:

8) Today my beloved Petunia Pickle Bottom bags came in! Recently, there was a big sale on PPB bags on Regent's Secret, and I managed to snag 2 bags for less than the retail price of 1! I know, I know, I don't have kids, but these bags are so awesome. I already have one and love it! For someone like me who loves big purses/bags, these are perfect. Anyway, here are the 2 that I got:



These actually weren't my first choices, but they look great in person. I'm a happy camper!

Goodbye, January

Nothing like a little word unscrambling to wish January well and welcome February. What do you make of the top one? Leave me a comment with your thoughts - I'm dying to hear them!



(Picture from Fark.)

My name is not Veslie, and other random thoughts on a Friday morning.

1) Everytime I get correspondence from DSW, it's addressed to Veslie. Hello, people! Have you ever met anyone named Veslie? The one thing that makes this okay is that said correspondence usually contains a coupon for $10 or $20 off a pair of shoes.

2) I'm wearing all black today. I don't think I've worn all black since high school.

3) I brought my camera to work with me. I spend all the light hours of the day in the office, so I figure I can at least try to take some pictures during my lunch hour.

4) This has been the most enjoyable work week I've had in quite some time. I've been productive and have felt useful and utilized. I've still had quite a bit of downtime (obviously, since I'm writing this at work), but overall, I feel like I can keep hanging in there if this keeps up.

5) My classes are going great. I have enjoyed this quarter immensely so far. I hope to have a completed thesis proposal by the end of the quarter.

6) I have no big plans for the weekend, and I am perfectly fine with that. My weekend will be ruled by studying, writing for class, hopefully taking tons of pictures, cleaning, doing laundry, and going grocery shopping. It's not glamorous, but I'm still looking forward to it.

7) I am currently reading So Yesterday by Scott Westerfeld. Even though it's a young adult book, I have found very enjoyable so far.

8) As I mentioned previously, the third season of Veronica Mars is a total letdown, so much so that Roy and I didn't realize that the final episode was the series finale at first. That's how anticlimactic it was. I am hugely disappointed, especially because the first 2 seasons were so good.

9) I really want a cheeseburger for lunch.

The Week in Photos

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I absolutely love my camera. It breathes life into the most mundane objects, in my quite biased and humble opinion.

Post full o' pics!

Random Recap Friday!

Since I don't really do daily recaps, except if something strikes me as being really interesting, I thought I'd do this every so often instead.

1) My current favorite song is "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You" by Black Kids. You can listen to it (and even download it) here. It's awesome. I have dooce to thank for hearing about them.

2) I heard of etsy several years ago, but only recently have I discovered the joys contained within. This will be our next artsy purchase, which can be found here:



3) I had 2 phone interviews last Friday for my desired job. (Personally, I think it was stupid to interview me over the phone since I'm internal. But whatever.) HR called me on Wednesday to let me know that they are very interested in interviewing me face to face. This is great news! This job is a great opportunity for me financially and experience-wise. The interview will be on Monday and will last for about 4 (!) hours. People in my office seem to think that it's a done deal. I, however, am still not getting my hopes up.

4) I finished the collage I'd been working on for my office. I need to figure out what to do about the border, but it is otherwise done. I did the entire thing at work in a month's time. I could probably have done it in a day, but I didn't want to tip my managers off too much about my lack of work (because then they would give me tons of filing to do, and let's face it - I don't want to do filing). Anyway, here it is, in all its glory:



(It looks better in person.)

5) I am on the third book of the Sandman series, which is my thesis topic. I have started a blog post about the first one but haven't finished it yet. Stay tuned, all you nerdy types!

6) My favorite newly discovered blogs of the week are Uncommon Depth (from which I learned the existence of a town called Leslieville, which validates me in ways I can't even begin to explain), Love Letters to Little Bear, Mihow, and Joe's NYC. Check 'em out!

7) It seems that many pregnancy or infertility blogs are titled "Maybe Baby" or something similar.

8) I am doing okay with my dietary changes. Lately, I have been eating a lot of candy and sugar because of Halloween. However, I could easily not eat it if I set my mind to it. The problem is, I want to eat it. So therein lies the problem. (To me, it's not that big of a deal. It's the holiday season, and sugar consumption is par for the course.) However, I am doing well with my caffeine intake and it has been about 3 weeks since I've had any red meat. I've also switched to soy milk with my cereal. All good things.

9) Roy got his new driver's license in the mail.

10) Radiohead's newest album rocks.

Random Pictures on my Hard Drive

I was looking through my photos tonight and found some random pictures that I've taken. I took the top 2 with my old cell phone and the bottom 2 with our camera.

5 Things I Love About Today

1) I finally got my damn financial aid disbursement. I can finally stop saying, "I'm poor!" For a little while, anyway. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be bitching about money again soon.

2) I spent my entire workday in training for some bullshit system I will probably never use in my job. However, I did create my own company within that system, and I called it "Your Mom's House." The primary contact of the company is Sigmund Freud, who works as an Official Lollipop Tester. The secondary contact is Carl Jung, who works as an Official Glue Sniffer. You can reach both Freud and Jung by calling 1-900-555-LOVE.

3) I took a 2 hour nap after I got home from work, which means I'm probably screwed as far as getting a full night of sleep goes. But oh, how I love, cherish, and treasure a good nap.

4) I got to watch a couple of episodes of One Tree Hill, thanks to the timely delivery of Netflix. I would say it's a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel guilty about it. Hellz yeah!

5) Roy went and picked us up a couple of bad ass sandwiches for dinner from ToGo's. I'm a big fan of sandwiches. I've even dreamed about sandwiches. I'm hardcore and stuff.

The Little Things

This weekend was pretty low key. As I prepare for another week back at my boring and unfulfilling job, I've realized (yet again) that the weekend just isn't long enough.
On Saturday, we went to a baby BBQ for my friend Holli, who is due with her first child in October. (No, we did not BBQ a baby. Holli chose to have a backyard BBQ to celebrate instead of a baby shower.) It was a very mellow event. Roy and I sat the whole time and talked to Candice, one of my bestest pals. Unfortunately, I don't get to see Candice or Holli that much anymore. The three of us met at Chili's as lowly servers before the days we had college degrees. Holli and I have since moved on, while Candice is on her way out. I got to hear all the Chili's gossip and also hang around with Candice's daughter Madison. Maddy is one of my favorite kids of all time, mostly because she never gets tired of touching my nose and saying "Boink." I don't get tired of touching her nose either, and I certainly don't get tired of saying "Boink." It's the novelty that never wears off. It was awesome seeing Candice and Holli, because Saturday was also my 1 year anniversary of my last day at Chili's. Those who know me well know of my extensive experience as a server. I spent 8 years of my life waiting tables! 6 of those years were at Chili's. So it was a huge deal when I finally got my first "real" job and said good-bye to the world of working 3 hours a day, putting up with enormous amounts of crap, and living off tips. I think that everyone should work as a server at least once in their life. It taught me so much, and I met so many different kinds of people. Candice and Holli are 2 of those people. Here's us at the BBQ (Holli's in the middle):



And here's me and Candice from my last day at Chili's:



I suppose it might sound weird, but my life was much less complicated as a server. Working in an office has made me more grown-up and probably less fun. Now I have to think about insurance, 401K, and life insurance. How boring - and yet, how necessary.

But I digress. After the BBQ, we stopped off for a few minutes at our friends Nancy and Jenn's house. Their daughter Lily just turned 2, so they were having a party for her. We only stayed about 20 minutes, and I didn't really get any good pictures of Lily. Like any normal 2 year old, she was running around like crazy. Here's an okay shot of the birthday girl:



But because that picture does her cuteness no justice, here's one from when she was a baby:



Yep, she's dressed as a chicken. In her defense, it was Halloween. Last Halloween, to be exact. And she was not even walking on her own yet - and now she's running around like a crazy person. It's fascinating to watch kids grow.

Now that I'm starting to sound like the embarassing old aunt at the family reunion, let me move on to the biggest event of the weekend. I got a new phone, courtesy of Patty, my mother-in-love. (I've given up on the mother-in-law thing; it just sounds too formal, considering how much I love her.) I know, I know. The RAZR is basically old news, but for me, it's the coolest thing. Not quite as cool as the iPhone, but the coolest new thing that I've gotten in awhile. I am especially excited about this because Patty has put me on her family plan, which means that I'm not going to have to pay my cell phone bill anymore. (She pretty much insisted on paying for the cell phones for her kids that are still in school.)

After hanging out in the Verizon store, we went to Cold Stone Creamery and had some sinfully delicious ice cream. I hadn't been to Cold Stone in about a year! We sat outside, ate our ice cream, and talked. I love talking to Patty because it's like talking to an old friend. I feel sorry for people who aren't able to connect with their in-laws; it must suck. I feel very fortunate to have Patty (and Cherie, her partner) as my California mommies.

From Cold Stone, we went to one of my favorite places in the world: Borders. I'm always up for going to the bookstore, but today's visit was especially welcomed, since I heard about a new series called Twilight. I got the first book in the series (only $10!) and can't wait to start reading it.

I spent the rest of the day at home reading and hanging out. In the evening I went for a bike ride through downtown. The weather has turned a bit cooler, and the bike ride was refreshing. I rode by this cool cemetery a few streets over from where we live. It has always fascinated me, because it's old and the headstones are upright as opposed to flat. It carries with it the energy of time past and life lived. I always can appreciate old things, because they have a life all their own. In the right light, the cemetery looks amazing. I would love to photograph it someday when I actually have a decent camera.

So that was my weekend. Nothing big or terribly exciting (okay, so I'm thrilled over the fact that I have a pink phone), but it's the little things, right?

Boink.