Ouch.

So I had an appointment with my massage therapist today. And this is what he did to me:



After trying a long time to work out a particularly stubborn sore spot (that was huge), he pulled out the big guns: a flame and a small glass container. He used these things to create a vacuum, which in turn he stuck on my back, which gave me giant hickies. And it was really! really! painful! But it got rid of the sore spot. I'm all good now. Please don't call the cops on my massage therapist - kthnxbai.

In other news, I woke up this morning feeling like a brand spankin' new woman! Thanks for all the cold remedy suggestions. In the end, I ended up taking a bath, eating some homemade turkey soup, and going to sleep. And that apparently did the trick.

So yeah, I'm on the mend. I'll have giant hickies for at least a week, but hey, I haven't gone through a whole box of Kleenex since yesterday. Awesome.

Cold remedies, anyone?

I am on day five of the World's Nastiest Cold. It looked like it was getting better, but today I literally feel as if my eyes are on fire, my ribs are broken (since they are bruised from sneezing), and my nose is going to fall off if I blow it one more time. Being as I am limited on what I can take, I could really use some good old-fashioned cold remedies. I need to kick this cold's ass by this weekend, so that Roy and I can actually enjoy our trip up north.

Here's what I'm already doing:

drinking fluids
taking Zicam
douching my nose with saline
using a humidifier at night
using Breathe Right strips at night (I should use these during the day; they are so awesome!)
taking warm baths
trying to take it easy (which isn't really working)

Do any of you have any ideas? I'm open to pretty much anything (within reason) at this point.

In other words, I'm dying. Help me!

Ugh.

After the week from hell, I now find myself sick. Disgustingly, miserably sick. So sick I need to strap a humidifier to my face and hope that maybe, just maybe, it'll unclog my left nostril. So sick I need a robot just for the sole purpose of wiping the snot that is dripping out of my nose. That kind of sick.

To look on the bright side, I am 24 weeks pregnant today. I've got a post related to that in the works, but it's kind of hard to type too much with a humidifier strapped to one's face.

Ya know?

I Went to My Hometown, and All I Got Was This Stupid Hospital Bracelet: Day Four of Our Christmas Vacation

This is where things began to go downhill.

The day after Christmas, we woke up early and prepared to leave for my oh-so-boring and oh-so-problematic hometown of Victoria, Texas. My brother had decided to stay in San Antonio while we were gone, because he needed to finish a paper. So Roy, my mom, and I piled into the car for what I thought would be an illuminating visit to the place I grew up. It was to be a short trip. My mom had a sick kitty (yes, another one) she needed to check on, and as for me, my plans for my time in Victoria were big and vast. It would be a lot to cram into a short amount of time, but I had faith that we could do it.

The thing I most wanted to do was document Victoria through photographs and later use them to write a photo essay. It sounds silly, but this was something I felt I absolutely needed to do. I have a very troubled and complicated relationship with my hometown, and I had finally begun to feel that I needed to make some sense of it.

I also wanted to see some of my extended family. I haven't seen most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins in years, and I was looking forward to seeing them and introducing them to Roy.

And lastly, I wanted the opportunity to go through the attic of my mom's house, bring down the things I wanted to keep, and store them in my room. I also wanted to go through my grandmother's quilting and bring home some of her unfinished projects.

As it turned out, none of these things happened.

But wait, that was the day that I turned 18 weeks pregnant and celebrated Bunlet's sweet potato size.



Okay, moving on. The drive to Victoria was nice and without much incident. I was on the lookout for this really beautiful, old building that I always felt drawn to when I would pass through. It had been there for years. I had photographed it before, but never with a decent camera or any amount of skill. Much to my dismay, it was gone. That sucked. To me, it is a crime to replace something historical with something "progressive" and new.

We arrived at my mom's house, and I heard from my old friend Chris. Chris and I were good buddies our last couple of years in high school, and we went our separate ways when he left for the Air Force after high school. We reconnected through myspace several years ago, and he decided to drive down to Victoria from Austin to hang out with me and see his parents.

We headed to Chili's to meet up with Chris. We spent about an hour there catching up. It was awesome seeing him again, being as it had been over ten years, and I loved that he and Roy got along well. We decided to go to a nearby book and music store to kill some time. On the way, I called my doctor to inquire about some pelvic discomfort I'd been experiencing all day. I'd been feeling a good amount of pressure in my uterus area and wasn't sure if it was normal. I spoke with the nurse, who was unable to reassure me that what I was feeling was perfectly natural, and she said that if the pressure got worse or if I started bleeding to go to the ER.

You see where this is going, right?

Yeah, I ended up in the ER. This was after the three of us drove out to my mom's house and took it easy on the couch while watching the fourth season of Lost. I thought for sure that taking it easy would help with the pressure, but it just got worse. After making a few calls to different clinics in the area, we decided to head to the ER.

You'd think that a pregnant woman would be seen right away, but apparently you have to be pregnant and bleeding in order to make something happen, at least at this hospital. We sat in the waiting room for about two hours. I was brought back three different times, once for a blood draw, once to hear the heartbeat (which the nurse couldn't hear clearly), and once for an ultrasound (which was ordered after the nurse couldn't hear Bunlet's heartbeat to her satisfaction). I wish I could say that the ultrasound was a wonderful experience, but it really wasn't. It was, of course, wonderful to see that Bunlet was okay, but all the ultrasound did was raise more questions.

(You see, back when we had our big ultrasound (on December 22), the tech discovered something odd. She asked me if I'd ever been diagnosed with a bicornuate or didelphys uterus. She mentioned it almost in passing, so I didn't think much of it. But at the end of the big ultrasound, she called someone else in to take a look, and together they puzzled over what this big dark pocket next to my uterus could be. It was determined that it was probably nothing to worry about and could likely be a fibroid, but that they would make sure to mention it to my doctor.)

I honestly didn't think that this "thing" in my uterus, whatever it was, had anything to do with the pressure I was feeling down there. But the tech at the hospital paid a lot of attention to it while she was doing the ultrasound, and I couldn't help but notice that she labeled it as a "mass" (which gave me a sinking feeling).

After being in the waiting room, we were brought back into the emergency area and given a room. The nurse was nice enough. The doctor, who was not an OB, was pretty clueless. He came in twice and couldn't determine what was wrong, but he wanted to admit me to the hospital for overnight evaluation. I was not happy about this as no one could even tell me what was going on. My best guess is that the OB on call was busy delivering babies and wanted to keep me there until he had a chance to review my ultrasound pictures. Whatever. After waiting in that ER room for another couple of hours, the doctor (the one who was not an OB) gave me a pelvic exam, which is what I'd asked for hours before (I was afraid that the pressure I was feeling was pre-term labor, and I wanted to make sure everything was sealed up tight).

The pelvic exam revealed nothing, but the doctor still wanted me to stay overnight. We finally had the opportunity to ask lots of questions, and once we got some answers, I felt that the doctor had made a good case for keeping me overnight - the word "appendicitis" was thrown out, which was concerning. He also felt the need to point out that my uterus "is just not normal," which I found extremely irritating, but which also added to his case for keeping me overnight. The kicker? He said, "Your baby is almost to the point of viability; we want to make sure you get there."

Ugh, what an asshole. There's nothing like being threatened with the possibility of losing your baby (as if I hadn't considered that before). I felt that he was really out of line in making that comment, especially because no one knew what was wrong.

At this point, we'd been in the ER for five hours, which was a ridiculous amount of time. However, they got me moved and admitted very quickly. I was given a nice room in L&D, and Roy stayed with me for the night. The nurses were great, and they gave me some Ambien to knock my grouchy, uncomfortable ass out. It worked. I slipped effortlessly into sleep.

Day five recap coming soon!

149.4

Yesterday I was down almost three pounds, and today I'm back up pretty much to where I was a week ago. Is there something that would make me gain back three pounds in 24 hours? Because I don't get it. I was all proud of myself and shit.

We worked out three days this week. We got our asses kicked each and every time. It sucks to be us when we're working out. But I'm feeling good about this thing we've got going, even though I gained back three pounds in 24 hours.

I can tell a slight difference in my body. There's still plenty of softness there, but I can feel muscle where I didn't feel it before. I guess that's what counts, right?

Still

I joined the Photo Trade this month. Basically, it's just as it sounds - trading photos with a partner each month. The photos are all based on a theme. The theme for September is "Still."

Here are the two photos I'm going to send out. I hope my partner likes them!




You can see other people's photos here.

In other news:

1) Roy and I worked out again tonight. I cussed at the TV quite a bit.

2) My computer is still being kind of a douchebag.

3) Last night I actually wrote a couple of poems that didn't suck sweaty balls.

4) I am reading a really good book.

5) I actually haven't been hating my job these days.

The end, for tonight.

149.6

That's how much I weigh right now.

Today Roy and I started working out to the 30-Day Shred video. Twenty minute workouts. No breaks. Very fucking intense.



I felt like I was going to die for a few brief seconds, but I completed the workout and am feeling good right now. I can't believe how out of shape I've let myself become. It's hard to believe that I used to do intense training for the dance team for four hours a day back in high school. How times have changed.

Roy and I plan on weighing in every Monday, so I'll be posting my results here. What I am after most is feeling good and being happy with my body. Oh, and fitting back into some select items of clothing would be good, too.

Wish me luck.

Things I Learned This Week

1) Work can be good if I'm busy. Which I was. All week. A very nice change of pace.

2) Life is better when Myra is around. But she needs to be off doing her own thing, and I respect and understand that.

3) I have great friends. The best, really.

4) It does not feel good to have your vagina propped open for an extended period of time while a radiologist injects dye into your uterus to make sure your fallopian tubes are open. But it is totally worth the uncomfortableness when you see the dye spill out around your ovaries, thereby letting you know that your tubes are indeed open for business.

5) It's hard to live without a computer. But if you have a husband who recognizes that you have a strong Internet dependency and lets you use his computer, that helps lessen the pain of separation.

6) Sometimes the only thing you can do is make it through a moment. Some days are a-moment-at-a-time days.

7) It's important to keep your eyes open and notice the world around you. I found this little thing on the sidewalk outside my office building and loved photographing it. It's been hanging out on my office windowsill ever since I rescued it.



Happy weekends to all!

This job may be hazardous to your health.

I feel old.

I have always had back problems due to scoliosis, but lately my back has been killing me. A visit to the massage therapist on Friday offered me some temporary relief over the weekend, but yesterday and today I came straight home from work, crawled into a warm bath, and laid in bed, alternating heat and cold on the really sore areas. It literally hurts to sit.

I blame my job. Sitting all day is not exactly great for one's alignment. But hey, at least I've gotten some cool macro shots out of it.





Once I have all the kinks worked out, I'm going to do yoga more often. I'm afraid to do it now for fear of hurting myself any more.

There will be a much cooler post tomorrow.

Suddenly I See

twenty years' worth of glasses - $1000 (+ insurance costs)

several pairs of soft contact lenses - $500 (+ insurance costs)

medicine for infections due to soft contact lenses - $50 (+ insurance costs)

co-pay for prescription eye drops for Lasik - $15

Lasik surgery - $3,800

finding out you have 20/15 vision after twenty years of wearing corrective lenses - priceless

General Monday Randomness

-I normally can't stand summer, but this year in particular I am very grateful for it. The evenings are long and peaceful instead of rushed like they were during the school year.

-Day 1 of the cleanse is done and went well. The hardest time was lunchtime and the afternoon. I got tempted quite a few times, but I managed to avoid most of it. I did have a bit of peanut butter with my celery when I got home, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. At least I didn't eat the pan dulce in the break room at work.

-This is my new favorite song. It is amazing. I listen to it over and over. The whole album is worth checking out.

-I started reading this book. I'm not one for self-help, but this one called to me last week.

-I meditated tonight. Actually, I have no idea if I did it right. It felt a lot like I took a short nap. Is there a wrong way to meditate?

-I got my grade in my fairy tales class: A-. The perfectionist in me is not happy with this grade, especially because of what happened before. This is my third A- in grad school. I got two last year, but I earned them rightfully. I really should have gotten an A in this class. I busted my ass. Apparently I didn't deliver. I emailed her and inquired. We'll see what she says.

-At least I got an A in my internship.

-Roy and I went for a walk tonight. I haven't really been inspired to take any photos recently, because I've been in kind of a funk. But I decided to bring my camera along on our walk, and here are a few things we came across.







Yes, that's a headstone for a person with Shrimp as his last name. Talk about random.

Eating Consciously

All weekend long I've been preparing myself to jump into a cleansing diet that my friend Jessica told me about. Since I quit smoking over a year ago, I've become quite the emotional eater, and this is probably one of the reasons why I've put on some poundage. So, beginning tomorrow and continuing on for the next two weeks, here is what my diet is going to look like:

1) cabbage, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, broccoli, broccoli sprouts
2) parsley, cilantro, chard, kale, watercress, mustard greens
3) orange, lemon, lime
4) garlic, onions, eggs, daikon radish
5) artichoke, asparagus, beet, celery
6) carrot, apple, pear, berries
7) two servings (size of the palm of my hand) of protein: lean beef, chicken, turkey, fish
8) 1-2 tablespoons olive oil
9) half my body weight in ounces of purified water

Bascially you pick two things from each group (except for 8&9, obviously), and those things make up your meals and snacks for the day. The idea is to not have any white flour, sugar, caffeine, gum, stabilizers, MSG, or sugar substitutes. Organic, baby!

Roy and I are embarking on this journey together. We are going to modify this diet a bit, adding in some beans, simple salad dressings, and cucumbers. Even so, I'm a little nervous. I've never actually dieted before. But the time has come for me to really pay more attention to what I'm putting into my body and to change the way that I feel and think about food.

Lately I've been looking around and noticing that there are so many overweight people everywhere. I think that most people are like me: we eat things because we want them. They satisfy some emotional craving, or they're just yummy. We also use food as a way to connect with others (think: major holidays or just a lunch get-together with the girls). Perhaps there's nothing wrong with that, but the obesity problem is telling me a different story. We as a culture are obsessed with food. There are books and blogs and TV shows that revolve around food. And honestly, I don't have a problem with that, but I do think that we tend to use food as an emotional crutch as opposed to an actual source of nourishment.

I anticipate that I will probably feel like crap for the next two weeks, and I hope I can have the discipline to carry this out. I plan on writing down what I eat every day and hopefully exercising a lot.

Let the cleansing begin!

Purging/Cleansing/Becoming

Today finds me tipping the scales at 150 pounds.

Most people are very surprised when/if they find out how much I weigh. I have always carried my weight well. It's pretty evenly distributed. Plus, I have a lot of muscle left over from my many years of dance lessons and waiting tables.

But the fact of the matter is - I am 5'3". I have a small frame. I am what most would refer to as a petite person. I have always had narrow hips, small boobs, and a pretty flat stomach.

I still have the narrow hips and small boobs. But my stomach is a whole other story. It's become this whole other entity. I see myself in pictures and I cringe. I look pregnant a lot of the time. And that would be okay - if I was actually pregnant.

I have become so frustrated with my body, with my overindulgence, with my fatness. I don't really think that I am fat, per se, but I think that, like most Americans, I am a huge consumer. I buy things I don't need, eat things that are bad for me, and waste my precious time doing mind-numbing, habitual, meaningless things.

Today finds me tipping the scales at 150 pounds - and searching desperately for change.

I need to change. I am not a terrible person, but I have some really self-destructive habits. I want to be better. I want to be healthy, centered, kind, and positive. I want to be a good wife, friend, daughter, sister, employee, etc. I want to be a good person, the kind of person that people are proud to know.

So I have decided to change some things about my life. Perhaps I will change in the process. Or maybe I don't need to change at all. Maybe it's all about attitude.

The changes have actually already begun. But first, a flashback.

Last quarter, I was consumed with school work, stress, and general feelings of negativity and resentment. At the same time, I was also thriving and learning new things and feeling extremely happy about all of it. It was an odd place to be, full of tension.

I let a lot of things slide. Going to school four nights a week while working full-time forces one into pure survival mode. Our house was dirty, the dishes often left unwashed. Our laundry rarely got put away. Both of us stopped cooking and instead began eating out all the time. I began drinking soda every day, a habit that I worked very hard to beat back in the fall. There were many nights that I didn't sleep well, as insomnia has always been an issue for me. There were many days that I was just generally cranky and negative.

Now school is out, and I have my life back. And it's time to take control of the mess (not just the physical mess, but the emotional/mental messes as well) and clean it all up. It's time to purge.

Here are some of the ways I've begun to purge and cleanse:

1) After almost two years of being a member of the boards on the knot and the nest, I deleted my account. Both of those websites have operated as a safe haven for me to have fun, make friends, and blow off steam. Sometimes blowing off steam takes the shape of pure, unadulterated drama. I have found myself in the midst of a few dramatic episodes. They are usually fun at the time, but after the fact, I begin to feel bad. I am just not a person who can be nasty and not feel badly about it afterwards. At the same time, I often feel justified in being direct about how I feel concerning a person or situation, which can sometimes translate to nastiness.

I got involved in a particularly dirty exchange of words about a month or so ago. To me, it was harmless fun. It didn't mean anything to me. And then it began to get very personal. It didn't hurt my feelings, because I could see straight through my attackers. (The very things they were attacking about me would have been embraced by them if they actually liked me.) But it was a little unnerving to me to be involved in something with people who obviously take themselves very seriously.

I thought the situation over for a couple of days and then came to the conclusion that I should delete my account and stop visiting the boards. I'm not a chicken shit, but even though I hate drama, I am sometimes likely to get involved in it. Deleting my account removes the temptation of getting involved at all. Let's face it, I have too much of a guilt complex to be mean and then not feel badly about it - no matter how much that person may have deserved it.

Also, there's the fact that I have spent the last year or so going back to the boards because it's just a habit. I don't even really have a positive association with most of the regular boards I used to visit. Many of the members annoy the crap out of me, and there are too many cliques. So, why keep going back?

So I deleted my account, and I deleted all my links to all the different boards I used to visit. And frankly, I don't miss any of it. I miss some of the people, but it's easy enough for my friends to get in touch with me.

The act of deleting is very cleansing. I feel good about this decision (but I hope all you knotties and nesties who read my blog will keep reading, because I actually like you guys).

2) Roy and I have spent this week going through all of our stuff in preparation for the yard sale we're having this weekend. Wow, we have a lot of crap. I would love to have the courage to go totally minimalist, but right now, I don't. I was able to part with about 10-15 pairs of shoes and a whole lot of clothes and books, though. My goal is to hopefully not buy any more books for awhile and go to the library instead. Also, this summer I plan on making more space in our apartment, which may mean getting rid of more stuff. At the end of the quarter, I literally could not focus at home. The mess and clutter really got to me.

3) For the past month or so, I've had a standing date to go to the Farmer's Market with Mandy and Paul. Every Saturday morning, we walk there and buy our produce. The produce is delicious and cheap, and buying it there really helps the local economy. Going to the Farmer's Market is a small step towards becoming a more environmentally conscious person and family. I would like to either carpool to work or find a job closer to home so that I could walk or ride my bike. I would like to use cloth diapers for our future children, make our own baby food, and have flower and vegetable gardens. I really just want to give back to the world that has given so much to me. As issues associated with our overconsumption increase, I really feel that this is an issue that we can no longer ignore. (To give myself some credit, I have been a religious recycler for years. I have also talked about global warming to anyone who will listen. Most people don't, sadly.)

4) This week, I stopped consuming fast food, sweets, and soda. I have always been a terrible eater. And yet, up until the past year or so, I have been able to maintain a healthy weight and appearance just by having a high metabolism. Now that I'm married, off the pill, chained to a desk all day, and approaching 30, it's become apparent that I need to be diligent about diet and exercise. Yes, I have said all this before. Yes, it will be hard. But yes, I can do it. Yes, I can stop looking pregnant while not being pregnant. Yes, I can feel better in my own skin. Yes, I can change my habits. It can be done.

So here I am, weighing in at 150 pounds, really wanting to slim down in all areas of my life, except love and happiness and prosperity. I will accept all of those in abundance, naturally.

But before all the rewards comes the work. I know this, and I accept it.

Consider this my real summertime manifesto. I hope that I can meet the challenge.

A Request

Remember when I told you about Uncle Chuckleberry's staph infection?

Well, unfortunately it's not gone completely. As a matter of fact, after being on some very aggressive antibiotics with some really nasty side effects, he is being put on stronger antibiotics with even worse side effects. He has already lost about 50 pounds. He can't really afford to lose any more.

Folks, I'm really worried. My uncle Chuckles is not a young man, and he's the closest thing to an emotionally-involved and functional dad I've got. So even though I don't normally do this, I'm asking you for your good thoughts, your healing vibes, and your prayers for his complete recovery.

I appreciate it.

Cancer Free

That's me!

I got my biopsy results for my scary mole from my dermatologist today. Everything is fine. I feel so relieved.

It could so easily have been skin cancer, even melanoma. I'm lucky that it wasn't. Maybe I won't always be so lucky. If you look at the "Inspiring Places" on my sidebar, you will see that a great many of them belong to people who were not so lucky.

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month. Now is the time to educate yourself about taking care of your skin, limiting your exposure to the sun, wearing sunscreen, and giving yourself monthly mole checks. Lydia has been writing different blog posts related to skin cancer prevention this month, so check it out.

Lastly, watch this:



Yes, I know I'm preaching. But somehow melanoma has become my pet cause, and so many people choose to remain ignorant about the devastation it can wreak upon the human body. I consider it my duty to tell anyone who will listen about melanoma and other types of skin cancer.

Thanks for listening.

One Week

It's been one week since I last wrote a blog entry. That's the longest time I've gone without writing here in quite awhile. Well, in my defense, I've had quite a few things going on lately. Consider this my big, giant recap post. I'm not a big fan of recaps, so I tend to put them off forever. But here are some things I consider noteworthy about my life right now.

1) I've had a cold this week (which is probably the main reason why I haven't been writing). I had picked up some oil of oregano a few weeks ago when Roy was sick, and I put three drops in my water at night and in the morning. I feel that the oil of oregano is a big reason why my cold symptoms improved so drastically, so I would recommend it to others. If you ever try it though, consider adding it to your water like I did instead of dropping it straight into your mouth. It's pretty strong and tastes awful.

2) I got my scary mole removed yesterday. It didn't hurt at all. My dermatologist really doesn't think it's a cause for concern, but she is going to have it biopsied anyway. I'll get the results in two weeks. In the meantime, I think it's going to heal up nicely and probably won't even be noticable at Mandy's wedding (which I was admittedly concerned about).

3) Speaking of Mandy's wedding, it's two weeks until the day! I often think of her and wonder how she's doing with everything. I remember all too well how I felt near the end of the planning process: insanely stressed but extraordinarily happy and alive. I just can't believe how the time has flown.

4) Roy got a new job! This is probably the most amazing thing I have to report this time around. My husband is not one to embrace change when it comes to jobs, so for him to make this move is pretty incredible. He actually got a job in his field; he will be making a little bit more per hour and will work slightly less. The position is temporary, but it's definitely a good move for him.

5) I downloaded a thirty day trial of Adobe Lightroom last weekend, and I must say I love it! Remember the white balance issues I had with Mandy and Paul's engagement pics? Well, in a few clicks, Lightroom had fixed that. Check it - the left pic is before Lightroom, and the right pic is after Lightroom.



Needless to say, I think I will be purchasing Lightroom after my thirty day trial is up. It's a quick and amazing piece of software.

6) I got my Polaroid camera in this week. I'm so glad I bought it. Getting a good picture out of it seems to kind of be a crapshoot (and an expensive one at that) at this point, but I think in time I will learn to manipulate it to get the shots I want. Actually, I've taken some really cool shots with it. Unfortunately, I don't have a scanner, so I don't really have any to share.

7) We have finally put our wedding videographer issues to bed, not necessarily by choice, but by necessity. I did send out a couple of demand letters at the beginning of March and tracked them online. One of them was returned to us unopened, and the other one apparently never made it anywhere. As I suspected, our videographer apparently is no longer in the wedding videography business. While we could have pushed on with taking him to small claims court, Roy and I made the mutual decision to let it go. In the grand scheme of things, this just isn't worth it. No matter how much we fight or how much of a refund we might have gotten, it won't give us what we really want: all the hours of footage from our wedding. It sucks, but I have too many other things that need my attention. We got screwed over, we made a heroic effort to unscrew ourselves, and it just didn't work out. Oh well.

8) I have been a music-listening-and-downloading fool lately. My absolute favorite album of the moment is She & Him: Volume One. It's totally worth many listens. I have also been revisiting some of my old favorites, like Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes, Weezer's blue album, and Violent Femmes' Add it Up. Right now I'm listening to old school Smashing Pumpkins and am enjoying it thoroughly.

9) After many frustrating months of trying to get answers about my name-changing issues, I finally made some headway yesterday. I was able to talk to someone who actually made a few phone calls to help me out. Now I feel more confident about this whole process, although there's no guarantee that the state will amend our marriage license. I will be sending in the paperwork next week though. I suspect it will be a long wait to hear anything back from them.

10) School is going great! I have to say that this has been my favorite year of school in quite awhile (in terms of classes). My internship is going well: the students are really insightful and smart, the assigned reading is wonderful, and of course I love my faculty mentor. My seminar on fairy tales is very interesting, although the professor takes some getting used to. I could be making more headway on my thesis proposal, but hopefully that will happen this weekend. All in all, I am enjoying myself very much. I have to admit, though, that attending classes four nights a week thoroughly sucks. For that reason, I am counting down until summer.

Anyway, there's my long ass recap. I have a few other things that are going on, but I think I'll make those separate entries.

It's good to be back!

Uncle Chuckleberry

My uncle Charles (affectionately known as Uncle Chuckles/Chuckleberry) was in the hospital for about a week and a half. He had a pretty nasty staph infection, and while in the hospital, he hurt his back as well. He's had a rough time of it, but he was finally allowed to go home yesterday. Still, it sucks that he's all the way in San Antonio and that I haven't been able to go visit him.

Uncle Chuckles is 70 years old, but I've never thought of him as old. He's still incredibly active and in good health, which will help him immensely as he recovers from this major setback. Still, he's going to have to use a walker for awhile and won't be able to get to the upstairs portion of his house. All this makes me very sad, although I know that he will recover.

Uncle Chuckles is the closest thing I've ever had to a father figure and is the only one of my extended family who flew out for my wedding. He's an architect and lives in a turn-of-the-century house in downtown San Antonio. He collects cool pieces of art and is the reason why I have a very nice collection of colorfully carved wooden boxes. I love him very much and think of him often. I'm wishing him lots of good healing and patience. I know that his recovery will be long and hard, but I also know that he will make it through this.

All it takes is one moment.

Did you know that your life can change in just one moment? One little piece of time can render you speechless, breathless, overjoyed, saddened, defeated, and everything else in between.

Tonight I was washing the dishes. There is a mirror above the sink, and I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in that mirror. In particular, I noticed the small mole near my collarbone - it's a newish mole, formed within the last year. The last few months I have been asking Roy if he's noticed if it's gotten bigger. Just today I called the dermatologist and made an appointment to have it looked at. I have hated it ever since it made its appearance, as I am not a big fan of moles.

And then tonight I noticed a small speck of black in it. And I immediately felt like I couldn't breathe, because that black is not a good sign.

It looks like I will be calling my dermatologist again tomorrow to see if they can get me in sooner.

I am scared. I keep telling myself that it's probably nothing. But what would I do if it really was something?

I'm not sure. But I feel changed, somehow.

Three Reasons to Celebrate

1) We have been married for eight months today.

2) Three years ago today, Roy and I went out on our first date.

3) One year ago today, I quit smoking.

I had a long blog entry about all this planned, but this week has been super stressful and emotional for me on many levels. So I took a mental health day today and am also celebrating making it through hard times with my wits intact. A big reason for this is Roy, who is truly my hero.

I would like to talk more about these things, particularly quitting smoking, but I'll wait for another time when I feel more inspired.

www.mylifeisridiculouslyboring.com

I have been so busy lately with what most people would probably consider uninteresting things, so I haven't really been writing about the current goings-on in my life. Here it is, in list form.

- Thesis proposal. I'm hoping to have a good enough version of it to send up to the graduate committee by the end of the quarter. If not, the beginning of next quarter it is!

- Creative writing. I've been hard at work critiquing my classmates' work and revising my own. Tomorrow the class will be workshopping a sequence of poems I put together, and I'm a little nervous.

- Mandy's bridal shower. It's coming together, but I can't reveal any more than that right now. The RSVPs are coming in though!

- Beauty. Mandy and I got pedicures today. We also got our eyebrows threaded. It was definitely an interesting experience that only took a matter of minutes. I would definitely do it again with someone who doesn't leave all my eyebrow hairlets all over my face like this lady did. Thanks, lady.

- Lack of beauty. Still struggling with the acne issue, though it's not nearly as bad as it was.

- TV. Currently, I'm watching (when I can) Firefly, the first season of Beverly Hills, 90210, and the fourth season of One Tree Hill. Don't hate on my TV show tastes; I pride myself on being well-rounded!

- Weight. Apparently, I've lost 5 pounds in the past month or so.

- Photography. I haven't gotten out to take photos in quite awhile, but I have been doing a bit of editing. Check out my flickr site if you're interested.

- Work. I have actually been busy at work. The days have been flying by and have made my professional life much more tolerable.

While some would probably find my life boring, I actually don't. I just really lack the skills to make it sound exciting, I guess. Well, whatever - there it is: my life right now.