Monday, April 30, 2007

75 days to go

I never thought that I would feel this way, but I feel as though all the different paths that I have been on throughout my life have led me right here, to this marriage that will take place in 75 days. I don't really believe in destiny, but sometimes it's hard not to when I think about how everything has worked out so far. I have grown so much as a person in my relationship with Roy. I've never had as much faith in myself or another person as I do in our relationship. It amazes me, quite simply, to really feel love and commitment for someone. It feels like I have finally come home after a very long time.

In the process of planning our wedding, I have second-guessed every wedding-related decision, but I have never second-guessed the most important one: to marry Roy. Sure, I get scared and worry about the future. But I never wonder whether or not I'm making the right decision. I just know that I am.

I wish that my past self could have met my present self. She could've used some guidance in relationships and life. By no means do I know all there is to know, but I have grown up quite a bit in the past few years. Hell, even in the last year, I have changed and grown quite a bit. It's an emotional journey I'm on, and one that I'm very grateful for.

Be careful what you wish for...

A year ago I was completely obsessed with finding a "real job," so I could quit waiting tables and do something more respectable. I thought having a "real job" would make things clearer for me, but apparently not. Some part of me will probably always be wondering what I'm going to do with my life.

I've come to the conclusion that the most important things to be learned aren't learned through an institution such as a university, but by living. I used to think that I wanted to go for my PhD - now I feel like I will be lucky if I finish my Master's. I'm not sure why I'm going through all of this education if I don't know what it's for.

What do I want to do with my life? I'd like to make a home that's ours, travel, take long walks. I'd like to start writing again. I'd like to learn new things, such as painting and photography. Someday I'd even like to have kids.

I suppose that sometime in the future I will look back on this time in my life and realize how much easier it was. But it doesn't feel easy right now. However, I am still aware of how lucky I am to have a wonderful husband-to-be, great friends and family, and the world around me.

That was an incredibly cheesy closing line, but there it is.

This cat is the wind beneath my wings.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Currently I am working on a transcription project for my one and only class of the quarter. Since I got engaged last May, I have shed my old identity of focused academic in favor of disorganized procrastinator. My ability to focus on one thing for hours on end has left me, which is why I find myself wandering the Web, discovering objects such as these:

Really, how can I concentrate with such beautiful things in the world?
The photo, by the way, is from Vazaar.

The Queen of Random

Hi, my name is Leslie, and this is my lemon. Actually, my friend let me use it solely for the purpose of a photo op, but this is what attention whores do.

So, I'm a graduate student in English Composition at a local university. I work as a proofreader and administrative assistant. I read lots of books. In the past year, I've gotten engaged, had my car stolen, bought a new car, entered the world of 8-5, moved, had a traumatic wisdom tooth experience, and had many existential crises. I've also eaten at Taco Bell quite a few times.

I have an unhealthy obsession with Post-its and my fiance's morning breath. I just shaved my legs for the first time in almost three weeks. And this is how it all begins.