Memory Month: 2007 - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I can't believe that 2007 is almost over! I say that at the end of every year, but this year is particularly close to my heart - I'm almost afraid to see it go. It has been truly amazing and full of so many ups and downs. Here is my year in review:


The Good

1) I got married! It's true what they say - it was the most amazing day of my life. But it's also true that it doesn't all go downhill from there. In fact, my love for Roy has grown so much since our wedding day. Our relationship has matured in a way that amazes me (not that our relationship was immature before or anything). I truly can't wait to see what the future has in store for us.

2) I found out who my friends are. I have built some incredible friendships this year. Having Mandy as my woman of honor in my wedding really strengthened our bond. Having Melinda and Kim to talk to about wedding/marriage/life ups and downs (not to mention the antics of really stupid people that we all so love making fun of) really drove home the point that people you meet online can turn into awesome friends. Working with Myra on a daily basis showed me that you really can meet the coolest people in the most unlikely places. Of course, along with these newer friendships, there are still my old friends, who I see less often or never at all: Candice, Genevee, Lynn, Laci, and Amanda. And who could forget all the girls that I hang out with online on a regular basis? (Exceptions abound in the online department, because let's face it - some of those bitches on the Nest/the Knot are crazy. Or stupid. Or both.)



3) I caught the dreaded baby fever. Worse things could happen, I'm sure. Acknowledging this desire of mine as something that I'm finally ready for has been confusing. Having children has always been something that I felt was better reserved for the future. It is so weird knowing that the future is finally here. Well, sort of.

4) I became a part of the blogosphere. Although I kept a blog on MySpace prior to my blog here, that doesn't really count. I can't believe the sheer volume of interesting blogs out there - I'm so glad I switched and was able to join the network.

5) I wrote a decent poem and many good blog posts. Writing is still one of the main things that centers me and defines who I am.

6) I read a whole lot of books, most of which were good. Reading is so important to me, and despite how busy and chaotic this year was, I'm glad I was able to take the time to read some books.

7) We got a new car. And it's awesome. Neither one of us will be needing a new car anytime soon.

8) I became part of a new family. I am so lucky to have 2 California mommies that I adore, a sister-in-law who I consider my friend, a brother-in-law who tolerates me, and my adorable nephews and niece.

9) I quit smoking. After 10+ years of smoking, I finally quit - and this time I feel it's for good. It was truly one of the best things I've ever done for myself, especially because it was not easy. I managed to quit cold turkey in March, in the middle of planning a wedding and finishing up finals week. I'm very proud of myself.

10) I realized, like never before, that it's the people in your life who make it what it is. I really used to keep myself at a distance from others. I had major trust issues. I still have them, but I'm learning not to let them get in the way of forming important relationships. I would be lost without the people I love. I didn't really realize this until I got married. Something in me changed that day (and in the days and months leading up to it). I realized that we are all connected and that it was meant to be that way - because human beings need each other.


The Bad

1) Roy got into a car accident. I am so relieved that he didn't get hurt. That would have been so awful.

2) I didn't get the job I wanted (which still really bugs me). I'm still trying to find another job. So far, no luck. There's a possiblity within my own department, but that's a whole other story.

3) My current job has made me apathetic and lazy. This is something that needs to change. I'm not sure if it's my attitude that needs adjusting or if I need an actual job change.

4) I'm suffering from burnout in regards to school. I really want to finish, but I can't make myself care as much as I used to. I used to be a big-time overachiever and highly motivated. I am still a good student, but not as good as I used to be.

5) I cried. A lot. I have cried while watching Scrubs, Gilmore Girls, My Name is Earl, and trailers for upcoming movies. I have sobbed over videography, photography, and flowers. I have wept over the loss of a friendship and the deaths of those I've never even met. This penchant for tears, while embarassing, is something I'm grateful for, because it's how I express my sorrow, frustration, and happiness.


The Ugly

1) I found out who my friends are. Turns out that my friend of 20+ years and I aren't really connecting anymore (which I knew way before this year). In a moment of extreme sadness, when I realized that she wasn't coming to my wedding and didn't think anything of it, I told her how disappointed I was. She called it a guilt trip. I called it honesty. We haven't spoken since - and maybe it's for the best. I still think of her often, but we have really grown apart. It sucks, but it happens.

2) People died. So many good people left this life in 2007, as people do every year. Some of them were brave enough to share their battles with the world through their blogs, and I think they are incredible. As depressing as it may be, I'm going to be adding a section onto my sidebar for those who have passed on and left their wisdom behind. It's really the least I can do to honor them and to raise awareness of the diseases that killed them.

*****

As you can see, it was one hell of a year. So sorry to see you go, 2007. Bring it on, 2008!

Memory Month: How We Met Our Woogas

Who: me and Roy/Roy and I
What: looking for fish to fill the fishtank that we got for Christmas
When: New Years Eve 2005, approximately 6 PM
Where: Petsmart

You know how it goes. Once a girl goes into the puppy or kitten section of any store, you'd have to pry her away. Such was the case with me when I met Roy at Petsmart on New Year's Eve 2005 to buy some fish for our new fishtank. I beat him there (I had been working) and went to go look at the kittens to kill time. It was truly a good thing.

After Roy showed up, I brought him back to the room full of kittens in cages, because he's a fan of all things cute too. The Humane Society woman was struggling with a tiny grey tabby kitten who had just escaped from its cage - and that's how we met Ashe, who we adopted that night. (I admit it, I totally begged. Thankfully, I didn't have to beg much, because Roy loved her just as much.) She was sooooo cute. What's funny is that at the time we thought Ashe was a boy, because the Humane Society lady told us she was. (We figured out the truth when we took "him" in to get neutered a couple of months later.)



Anyway, Woogas was about 3 months old at the time we adopted her, and she was on Death Row at the pound when the Humane Society rescued her. She had a leaky eye, which is due to a virus and still flares up from time to time even now. But still, we fell in love with our little bundle of joy and took her home with us to stay forever.



Woogas and I have grown to be very close over the 2 years that we've been part of each other's lives. She absolutely loves for me to hold her (when she's in the mood, of course - as sweet as she is, she's still a total biatch), but only when I'm standing up and walking around. She will follow me from room to room around the house. She literally gripes at me when she's hungry or wants attention. She will lick my face and rub her face on mine. I love her to pieces and am so glad that we found her and took her home that night.



Happy 2 year anniversary, Woogas! (Don't ask me how I came up with the name "Woogas." I really can't remember. But it somehow suits her better than "Ashe.")

Memory Month: The Best Books of 2007

At the start of 2007, I told myself that I would read 10 books each month. Believe it or not, this used to be an easy accomplishment for me, as I read extremely fast. However, 2007 was an entirely different animal than years past, so reading took a back seat to everything else. I have managed, though, to read 75 books as of this posting and am hoping to finish off a couple more before the end of the year, as I have quite a few in progress right now. One thing I did this year was reread quite a few books, so I won't be including the books that I reread on my list of best books of the year.

Without further ado, here is the list of books that I enjoyed most this year (in the order I read them), along with the reasons why. I didn't force myself to pick 10 books; it just happened that way.

1) What No One Tells the Bride by Marg Stark
One thing every bride needs is a good book that helps her understand her many conflicting feelings that she encounters as she plans her wedding. This is one of those books that I'm so glad I read before getting married. I was one of those moody brides who had very happy highs and really depressing lows. I felt a lot of confusion about all my different emotions, and reading this book (as well as The Conscious Bride) really helped make sense of it all. I ended up embracing all these feelings (even the negative ones), and even though they were hard to handle sometimes, I count myself a better person for having gone through planning a wedding. Books like What No One Tells the Bride really helped me keep a firm grip on my sanity in dealing with family, friends, vendors, Roy, and even myself and my own expectations.

2) No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
Cormac McCarthy is an amazing writer, and this is an amazing book. The story is compelling (and violent), the writing is top-notch, and I couldn't put this one down. It was suspenseful and interesting. I would love to see the movie, but I'm afraid it just won't live up to the book. However, I could just see the book unfolding in my mind as I read it, so maybe it'll make a good movie after all.


3) The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd
Sue Monk Kidd is a delicious writer, particularly in this book. Her writing style makes me want to engage in all things sensual. Her descriptions are incredibly vivid, so much so that her writing sometimes contains echoes of the Latino/a tradition. The story is one that every person can relate to, where the protagonist goes searching for something she can't quite put her finger on and ends up with a better understanding of herself and her life. The myths and legends within the story really gave it its punch and depth. The ending was surprising, which is always welcomed.

4) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
This was probably the most anticipated book of the year, and I am so happy that it lived up to the hype. It answered all my questions and tied up all the loose ends. It also brought up some relevant issues, giving this fantasy story a strong basis in reality. It was a definite page-turner. I laughed, I cried, I got angry. Despite the epilogue (which I thought was unnecessary) and very weak concluding sentence, I was completely satisfied with this book - and also happy to see how the series matured and found its real theme and subject.

5) Was by Geoff Ryman
This was an excellent book. It's The Hours meets The Wizard of Oz, with an obvious twist of Wicked. The story was powerful, complicated, and challenging. The writing was great. All in all, Was is a very brave book that seeks to reexamine stories and characters we've all grown to know and love.



6) One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry
I highly enjoyed this graphic novel. I could relate to it very much. Each of the stories/chapters contained within struck a nerve with me, because they showcased the demons that latch onto us and follow us around all our lives. In a sense, this book reminded me very much of PostSecret, in that its very personal revelations felt like they were about me personally, not about some woman (the author) I've never met. The writing was good, and so were the accompanying graphics/pictures/illustrations. I highly recommend this book for everyone. Remember - graphic novels aren't just for nerds!

7) Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin
I thought this book was pretty amazing, and I've actually already talked about it in another blog entry. It actually forced me to reexamine my eating habits by telling it how it is. This book explores the horrific happenings in slaughterhouses, how different foods affects our body, and what we can do to make ourselves healthy. Essentially, the book is all about diet and exercise, but there's no feel-good spin to it. It's very matter-of-fact. Some would even call it bitchy. But I liked the attitude - it helped drive home the main points the authors were trying to make.

8) Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
Every woman should read this book. It taught me so much about my body and really made me realize how lacking my health/sex ed classes really were. It is amazing how ignorant most women are about the processes of their bodies - well, this book demystifies it all. It also explains a natural method of birth control, which sounded far-fetched to me at first. But it really works if you know how to do it correctly. I would recommend this book to any and every woman out there. Even though it was first published 10+ years ago, it is still groundbreaking.

9) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
This book was an easy, fast, and gripping read. For the most part, it lives up to its critical acclaim. It is a great book. But it's not the best book I've ever read, and it won't be going on my "best books of all time" list. It's pretty easy to guess the ending, and I wouldn't say the writing is absolutely phenomenal. What I would say, though, is that this book is extremely relevant. It offers a look into Afghanistan through the eyes of its natives and reveals a timeless story of love, friendship, and family.

10) The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
This is a hefty young adult book. At 500+ pages, it's quite daunting. However, I read this book in the space of a day or 2, mainly because much of the story is told through pictures. These pictures are pretty amazing works, and they are composed entirely of pencil. The story would be nothing without the drawings. It's not just a book with illustrations added in for fluff - the drawings simply make the book. Although there's a strong story behind the drawings, both story and drawings would be incomplete without each other. This is a really fascinating read.

*****

As much as I enjoyed these books, I doubt any of them are going to make my Favorite Books of All Time list. If I had to choose any, though, I would probably choose No Country for Old Men and/or Was.

I am not really going to make any reading goals for 2008. I would really like to make a dent in my unread books though, but the only way I'm going to be able to do that is if I stop buying books (yeah, right) or get rid of the ones that have been on my to-be-read pile for years (which I do quite often, actually). So, who knows what 2008 will bring?

Memory Month: Child of the 80s

Here are some of my favorite commercials while growing up. Ahhh, memory lane!













I love the 80s!

Memory Month: Texas Road Trip

Roy and I took a road trip to Texas in September 2005 for my friend Lynn's wedding. We rented a car and paid out the ass for gas because it was right around the time of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. I had just bought our first (and only) point-and-shoot digital camera, so we spent a lot of time taking pictures of random things. I believe this is when we began our extensive use of the self-portrait shot to get pictures of ourselves (not to mention other random things).






The trip took us a couple of days. The first day we drove about 800 miles and ended up in El Paso, where we stayed the night.



The next morning we had breakfast and key lime pie for dessert (as previously mentioned). The next day was spent driving through Texas, and we finally got to our destination, my hometown of Victoria.



We spent more time on the road than we did hanging out in Victoria. Truthfully, that was fine by me, as I'm not the biggest fan of my hometown. There's not a lot to do, and I have a lot of conflicting emotions tied up in it. We did, however, make it to my friend Lynn's wedding. Since she and I grew up together, I saw many people that I knew that I hadn't seen in years. It was pretty cool to see everyone again. The best part? The groom's cake!



Roy's reaction to the cake was pretty priceless. He simply couldn't get over the fact that the cake had camouflage icing and little plastic hunter guys all over it. Me, I thought it seemed pretty normal for Texas, a place where deer season is more anticipated than Christmas.

Aside from that, we hung out with my mom. My mom showed me several bonnets she had found that had either belonged to her mother or her grandmother. We had a great time trying them on.



Roy and I did some modeling as well.



And what's a trip to my mom's house without pictures of the pets? (I'm only including 2 pics, but I could include so much more!)




And just like that, we were off. We stopped in San Antonio to see my uncle Charles and then spent quite a bit of time at Half Price Books, which is one of the coolest bookstore chains ever. We spent so much time there that it threw us off schedule, so we didn't even make it to El Paso that first day driving back. So we had to spend even more time driving the second day, but we still managed to hit up another bookstore in Arizona. (You can tell where our priorities were.)

By the time we hit the California border, we were both a little irritated (due to bad traffic in Phoenix) and we were so relieved to get back home. It was a good test for us, as we'd only been together for about 6 months at the time and were planning on moving in together the next month. Needless to say, we passed that test! And this was our soundtrack for most of the trip (and it ended up being our cake cutting song for our wedding).

Here are some more pics from our very first road trip together: a simple time for us, but scary time for the rest of the world, particularly New Orleans.

Memory Month: Years in the Life of a Family

For as long as I can remember, I have had a drive to write and have dreamed of a career in creative writing. (So far that hasn't worked out so well for me.) As a child, I was quite ambitious and started on my first novel during elementary school. (I believe I was in 2nd grade.) The name of the novel was Years in the Life of a Family, and it was basically just about that: a family. The mother's name was Leslie, and she was married and had about 15 kids, which is truly frightening to me now.

I wrote the novel with the help of my friend Amy. Since our moms both worked, we stayed in daycare after school hours and worked diligently on our novel. We added tons of illustrations, which was more fun than the actual writing. We had a blast naming all the chapters as well. As I recall, we eventually stopped writing and just kept on naming chapters. Eventually, the story of this family revealed itself through all the chapter titles. Leslie eventually gave birth to triplets (after having 15 kids - including a set of twins - before), some of the boys made a battery out of cow poo (don't ask me why), "Michael" was always spelled "Micheal," and somehow none of the kids managed to age at all. Mark the baby stayed a baby no matter how many seasons passed. Yeah, apparently at that age we still hadn't figured out the concept of time.

As a child, I longed for the presence of babies in my life. I wanted a younger sibling desperately (I hated being the youngest). I was also dying to be a mother, which sounds so incredibly strange considering I was still pretty much a baby myself. All of this obviously played into the writing of the novel.

What is even more obvious to me now is that I was hoping to attain an imaginary perfect family with myself as the mother. If I want to get all Freudian about it, I'd say that this story offered me the chance to escape from my less-than-perfect childhood by offering my fictional children my undivided attention, unconditional love, and selfless devotion. Eventually I gave up the dream of that perfect family, and that was where Break Up and Get Back Together (my second novel, written in 5th grade) came in. Already I was gearing up for romantic love, hoping to find what had been missing in my family life. (And we all know how that works out. Paging Dr. Freud, indeed!)

If I could talk to my 5th grade self, I'd tell her not to give up the dream completely because no one, not even that perfect family I created, has a perfect childhood, a flawless personality, or an always amazing life.

Despite knowing these things as an adult, I'm wondering if this is the reason I don't write fiction anymore. I just don't have that dream of perfection anymore. I can't even think it, because I know it doesn't exist.

I seem to have lost my sense of childlike wonder. But at least I once had it.

Memory Month: Chili's - Like No Place Else!

I started working at Chili's in September 2000. I had just moved to a little town in Texas called Kerrville. I had planned on getting a job waiting tables at a privately owned restaurant because I figured the money would be better, but due to lack of options, I ended up applying at Chili's and getting hired on the spot. Little did I know when I got hired that I would end up working for Chili's for 6 years!

I overslept the day of orientation and was about 2 hours late. Even so, management still decided to keep me. I guess they saw something in me worth having around. Whatever the case, they worked my ass off for the 11 months I stayed at the Chili's in Kerrville. I often worked double shifts - sometimes with only a 5 minute break in between (and this is perfectly legal in Texas). I was hard up for money, so I would work whatever shift I could. I became a trainer and a bartender. And I met some cool people and made some good friends.

The Kerrville store was so cool because it was huge and right by the river that ran through town. There was an outdoor patio, and local bands would come and play on the weekends during the summer. Working on the patio at that time really sucked because it was so crowded and because of the Texas humidity. Actually, the whole summer at the Kerrville Chili's pretty much sucked because of the extended summer hours. I was always beat at the end of the day.

I moved to California in August 2001 and transferred to a Chili's out here - the one in San Bernardino, to be exact. I started off at the bottom of the pile as just a server again despite my experience with training and bartending. It actually took me a long time to like my new Chili's, despite the vast improvement in pay (servers in Texas get paid $2.13/hr, whereas servers in California get paid minimum wage) and regulation of work hours (California law required us to take a break if we worked over 5 hours a shift). I was busy adjusting to a whole new way of doing things (the Kerrville Chili's was a franchise, whereas the San Bernardino Chili's was a corporate store) and learning the ins and outs of dealing with California people as customers and co-workers. (Turns out there's a huge difference between California people and Texas people!)

Waiting tables in San Bernardino was a huge adjustment for me and really drove home the point that the clientele does matter. I faced some big challenges while working at Chili's in San Bernardino. I had customers who felt entitled to treat me like garbage (which happens everywhere truthfully, but moreso at the SB store), people who walked out without paying their check (this happened to me 4 times at the SB store and never in Texas), and some really horrible tippers. I also faced a huge obstacle when I reported one of my co-workers for sexual harrassment (for unwanted ass-grabbing), but we were able to work out our differences - and he never touched me again, except when he gave me a hug good-bye when I left Chili's for good.

But I had some really awesome experiences too. I made some really great friends, many of whom came to my wedding. I also had some really fabulous regular customers who for some reason just liked me and sat in my station whenever I was working. There was the guy named Rob who tipped me $20 everytime he came in (and no, he wasn't hitting on me), the old man named Joe who liked to talk to me because he thought I was interesting (again, not hitting on me), the business people who came in at lunchtime, and the sweet old couple and their son who came in every Sunday (and when I received news of the husband/father's death, I was very shaken).

There were also some real crazies who came in. The best example I have is Connie, who was an alcoholic. She came in every Friday and had to show everyone her socks and pictures of her rabbit. She had a strange attachment to our lunchtime bartender and made out with random people in the bar. She always had some injury, it seemed. Even though she was a nice lady, I avoided her as much as possible because she didn't know when to stop talking.

The best part about working at Chili's was that I got to make decent money while working towards my BA. I worked less than 20 hours a week and made enough to pay my bills. And I had a ton of fun. All of us would sing at the top of our lungs while we were in the back. We had fights with the cooks and learned all the cool curse words in Spanish. We would have queso parties after our shift where we would all sit around and eat chips and queso. We spilled things and laughed at each other. We pulled pranks on the customers for treating us badly. It was truly the best job I've ever had, because it was fun, challenging, and always rewarding (even if the rewards weren't monetary).

I left Chili's in September 2006. By that time I was so burned out (to the point where I would give up my shifts or cut them short). It was truly time for me to move on. I don't regret taking the job I have now, because I needed something more professional for my resume. But I miss the social aspect of the job. I miss being silly constantly. I miss giving stupid customers veiled insults that were easily passed off as jokes. I miss having exercise built into my job. And I miss the simplicity of it, even though it didn't feel simple at the time.

Here is a picture of my friend Candice and I on my last day at Chili's. Candice became (and still is) one of my best friends. (And I look 12 in this picture.)



This one is of me and this guy Shervin. (I included it because it shows my adeptness at flashing gang signs.)



Can I get a "Go, Chili's!" Chilihead in da house!

Memory Month: Our First Date

In light of Roy's car being laid to rest, I figured that I should at least talk about my happiest memory associated with it. And that was our first date, which happened on March 14, 2005. I can't believe that it was less than 3 years ago! It feels like a whole lifetime has passed.

Here's some brief history (my apologies to those of you who have heard this story many times): Roy and I had a class together, working as editors on the staff of our campus literary journal (he was a fiction editor; I was a poetry editor). He had called on Friday, March 11, and asked me if I wanted to "hang out" on Monday after we were done reading manuscripts. Of course, I said YES! (I'd had my eye on him since I'd met him 2 months before, so it was about frickin' time.) I spent the entire weekend wondering if "hang out" meant that we were going on a date. I asked many males that I worked with, and all of them confirmed that yes, "hang out" meant a date.

Finally, Monday arrived, and I was so nervous I could barely eat my lunch. I could hardly concentrate in class. Finally, it was time for me to make my way up to the office, where all of the staff members would crowd in and read manuscripts. So I sat there and pretended to read, all the while preparing myself to be stood up. (What a cynic.) Finally, Roy showed up, but we acted like it was just another day and pretended to read while waiting for everyone else to get done reading and leave.

Finally, it was just the 2 of us, and Roy almost immediately asked if I was ready to go. We walked out to his car, and I was kind of shocked at how messy it was. (I was also kind of shocked at how casually Roy was dressed.) My shock wasn't of the bad sort at all. In fact, I found his messiness and casualness refreshing. In a world where guys and girls pretend to be something they're not to get someone to like them, this was a welcome change.

Anyway, we went to Starbuck's, ordered drinks, and sat outside and talked for about an hour. Then we went to El Torito and had dinner. We then stopped by the movie theatre to see what was playing, but instead we decided to go get a drink at the Falconer in Redlands. We ordered drinks and went upstairs to play pool.

Those of you who have had the really good luck to see me consume alcohol know what a lightweight I am. It's sad, really. That night was no exception. I had 2 appletinis while we were playing pool, and I got pretty damn buzzed. I wish I hadn't, because I can't remember all the glorious details of our first kiss. I do remember that once we started kissing, we really didn't stop. We made out until everyone who was upstairs with us went downstairs and started complaining. Then we decided to leave and went out to his car and made out some more. Then Roy drove me back to campus so I could get my car. I was still pretty buzzed though, so it was the perfect excuse to make out more. All in all I think we made out for about 3 or 4 hours - and I am not exaggerating.

Once I was finally sober enough to drive, we said good-bye about 20 times, each time punctuated with about 5 minutes of kissing. By the time I got home, it was 4 AM and I was so giddy I couldn't stop smiling. I was completely and totally hooked.

And that is the story of our 10-hour first date. Thinking back on it still makes me smile like an idiot.

Memory Month: My First Car Accident

Roy's recent car accident has led me down memory lane a bit - specifically to my first car accident, which was full of drama and intrigue. (Really, what else can you expect from the teenage me?)

It was March 1996, and I was 16 years old. I felt quite pathetic because I didn't have my driver's license yet (although I did have my learner's permit). My mom would sometimes let me take her car (a 1993 red Honda Civic - similar to the one pictured) on short drives to the store down the road, etc. One afternoon during Spring Break, I asked her if I could take her car to Country Express to get my new work schedule for the week. She said yes, and off I went. (Country Express was about 5 miles away from my house.)

After I'd gotten my schedule, I stopped at the store next door to Country Express and ran into Roger, a guy who lived in the area and was my on again-off again crush. We had never really dated before, but when he saw me at the store, he asked me if I wanted to go to the street dance downtown later that night. Of course, I said yes, and he said he would come by and pick me up. (A street dance is just what it sounds like, by the way, only the streets are actually closed off.)

And so I drove home. But I didn't take the direct route, which was the highway. Instead, I took back roads. I can't remember why I decided to take this route instead of the highway, but it was probably because I wanted to smoke a cigarette while driving so I could feel really cool. At any rate, at one point in the drive I took my eyes off the road for just a second, and all of a sudden, I was driving into the ditch on the left side of the road. I came really close to hitting a reflector, panicked, and overcorrected myself. I turned the wheel so hard that I ended up in the ditch on the right side of the road, and this time there was no saving me or the car.

I distinctly remember running into several fence posts, and then all of a sudden, the car was laying on its side (the driver's side, to be exact). To my credit, I didn't panic. It felt extremely odd to be sitting sideways instead of upright. I remember the radio was still playing, and the car was still running. There was some hissing noise going on, which of course made me think the car was going to explode any minute. Oddly enough, the thing I was most worried about was the fact that I had brought cigarettes into the car with me and couldn't find them. (I really didn't want to get busted.)

I probably sat there for about 30 seconds taking it all in. Then I just crawled out of the driver's side window, which was against the ground. A truck stopped to help me. The people in it had seen the accident happen, and they took me to the closest house so we could call 911. (This was before the age of cell phones taking over the world.) We drove back to the scene, and an ambulance showed up. I was mostly fine, except the airbag had hit me in the face. But I was taken to the emergency room. I can't remember if my mom rode with me or if she showed up later.

While I was laying there, waiting to be checked out, a cop showed up and wrote me out a ticket for "failure to control speed." I got a warning for driving without a license. My mom got a ticket for letting me drive without a license (which she later challenged, I think). When I was released, who else was waiting for me but Roger. Apparently, when I wasn't home when he showed to pick me up, he and my mom went looking for me and found the scene of the accident. He ended up giving us a ride home that night. He and I finally went out on our date, and we ended up dating until my first semester of college.

The car, of course, was totalled. Apparently I ran down 12(!) fenceposts. And my mom did find my cigarettes in the car. Doh!

Looking back on this experience, I have a few comments:

1) What kind of punk kid was I to think that I should smoke in my mom's smoke-free car?

2) I am really lucky that the couple who gave me a ride to the nearest house after the accident weren't serial killers.

3) Only a really skinny person could've gotten out of the car the way I did.

4) Speeding didn't cause my accident, so I don't know why I got a "failure to control speed" ticket. I should've gotten a "failure to keep eyes on road" ticket.

5) I now understand why my mom told me that I was harder to raise than my brother. I totalled her awesome car and probably made her insurance costs go through the roof. Not to mention the fact that I was smoking cigarettes at 16!

All I can say is I'm glad I've grown up.

Memory Month: Christmas 2004

I was talking to my mom on the phone earlier, and I found out that she's planning on flying up to Minnesota to stay with my brother for Christmas. My brother is a PhD student and has taken on a part-time job which has him working almost every day during December. There was no way he could've flown down to Texas to stay with my mom this year. And since Roy and I already knew we weren't going to be able to travel for Christmas this year, we all might have ended up having separate Christmases (which, so far, has been unheard of for our family). So I am beyond thrilled that my mom is flying to see him.

As I wrote before, this will be the first Christmas I won't be seeing my family. It has been the 3 of us for so many years. Even when my brother was married, he would spend Christmas Eve at home with us, and his (now) ex-wife would spend Christmas Eve at her parents' house. (They lived in the same town, so it wasn't a huge deal.) The 3 of us would open our presents, eat a ton of food, and just talk. Sometimes it'd been a whole year since we'd seen each other, so it was awesome to reconnect.

One of our best Christmases was in 2004. That was the year it snowed like crazy - in south Texas, of all places! (The last time it really snowed in south Texas was 20 years before, when I was 5.) The snow began late Christmas Eve afternoon. We were at my brother's ex-in-law's house hanging out, and we decided to leave because the roads were getting really icy. So we drove back to my mom's house, and later it started snowing! We got all bundled up and went outside to play in the snow. It was so much fun. No one was able to come over the next day because all the roads were closed, which was also different. (Normally, my dad and uncle come over on Christmas Day for lunch and presents.) We sat around all day and were just lazy. We really enjoyed the foot of snow that fell the night before. It was our first and only white Christmas.

Here are some pics from that year. It was truly a great Christmas. I am going to miss seeing my mom, brother, dad, and uncle very much this year, but I am also happy to have my first ever California Christmas.

My mom and I having a blast in the snow (with a bottle of MGD, because that's how we Texans roll!):

My brother, covered in snow:

Me, also covered in snow (and with much shorter hair, different glasses, and a really red nose):

My mom's house on Christmas Day:

One thing Texas has is really cool trees:

Here's to fond Christmas memories and to memories in general!