Saturday, October 25, 2008

Just in case I haven't posted enough about Prop 8...

I stole from Kari again...


Here are some wonderful reasons to vote YES on Prop 8!

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


Thanks again, Kari.


Erika said...

I think is being wayyyyyy out of porportion.

Let them marry who ever the hell they ant to marry.

This a free goddamn country! is not right to say to people not to marry because it is "wrong".

It is also wrong to impose their religious believe on anyone and claiming that their decision is "wrong".....their the ones who are being the judgmental pricks!!!!

there.....that is my two cents worth.

Erika said...

I miss spelled because i was so angry about this sorry.........:)

WeezerMonkey said...

This is hilarious.

But the funniest (and saddest) part is that there are people who believe some of these things, and they're not smart enough to know why their "reasoning" in completely unsound.

Angie Eats Peace said...

The arguments are laughable, but then it stops being funny when you realize people really believe this shit, and may be voting it into our constitution : /

Brenda said...

Thank you for posting this. I'm am seriously worried about this prop going into legislative law. I have seen many people who plan to vote yes in order to protect the "sanctity of marriage" and it makes me want to cry. Thanks for the much needed sarcastic humor.

Anonymous said...

Gay marriage? Children being had? We may be preachimg to teh converted here, but please see the link >

Many thanks.

Lesli said...

Sarcasm noted--good post!

And I agree with Erika--we are supposed to be a free country--it is not right to impose a law saying people cannot marry because it is supposedly "wrong".

Jeesh! That is all I have to say.

ammogirl said...

Randomly clicked on your link at NaBloPoMo...totally glad I did!