Thursday, October 23, 2008

Things Look Up, I Look Down

Do you ever have those days when you're just not proud to be yourself?

Tuesday and Wednesday were very negative days for me. There are many things that are weighing heavily on me. Obviously, Prop 8 is one of them. I am also having all kinds of interpersonal issues with co-workers, one of which came to a head yesterday after I left work early for mental health purposes.

I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone is like me and that not everyone needs to be like me. There's an element of self-righteousness in me that I cannot stand. I really can't. I hate it when people don't accept me as I am, so why do I find it so hard to accept others as they are?

Don't get me wrong - I am very tolerant of other people's belief systems; this isn't really about that.

It's more about finding it in myself to be kind, because sometimes being kind to others who make me angry really is a lot of work.

I guess I really am a work in progress. I've got lots of unfinished spots and many rough edges.

Last night I played with these macros in Lightroom and found that the end products (and the process) did a great job of soothing the savage beast in me.

It's the little things, right?


amber said...

indeed, the little things can make a big difference :)

being someone who has a belief system that has been known to rattle people has, i think, made me more tolerant of the fact that not everyone is going to agree with me on everything. and that is okay. so long as we can agree to disagree and keep it civil, then i'm good. a CW once attacked a belief that i hold quite dear for reasons that baffled me. i couldn't understand why i was being attacked, when i never tried to push my value system onto him. still makes me shake my head when i think about it.

i hope you're at least able to come to a place of peace for yourself at work.

Amy said...

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. The pictures are beautiful (as always).

WeezerMonkey said...

I'm like you -- simultaneously self-righteous and tolerant. It's a weird paradox.

Angie Eats Peace said...

We are all a work in progress, otherwise we are not human.

Claire said...

Losing yourself in a creative outlet is one of the most soothing things there is. It's great you're making beauty...