Thank you all for your thoughtful, supportive, and loving comments on my last post. I really needed them.
I have this theory. When you write something down, it makes it real (or more real). I have been avoiding the topic of TTC in most of my interactions with people. I didn't want it to become the center of my universe or the thing that people started asking me about all the time. I thought I could keep it a secret until I actually got pregnant. (It wasn't a total secret. There are a few people who have known what we've been up to.)
As it turns out, I couldn't. Our secret is out. It's real. But I refuse to let it define me. So what if we haven't conceived yet? It doesn't mean that I won't be a good mother when that day finally comes. It doesn't mean that women who get pregnant easily are somehow more meant to be mothers or will be better at it than those of us who have had to wait awhile. It's just random. It's a crapshoot.
Anyway, the whole point of this post is not to rehash my feelings concerning TTC. I've said what I need to say for now. I'm glad that I have opened the doors of communication concerning this, because as we continue down this road, there will be times when I will need to vent and express my feelings, whatever they may be.
And so we've decided to tell our families (only parents and siblings). We are going to need them. I thought we could do this alone, but the fact that I've leaned so heavily on my close friends through this shows that we can't. We need people to get us through. And you guys are those people, too. Thank you so much for your support. It means more than you will ever know.
To those of you who have been there for me from the start of all this, I love you so very much and cannot thank you enough for putting up with the insanity. It has been a crazy ride, but it has been bearable because of you.