Thursday, February 19, 2009

I can't get started. So ask me anything.

A hodgepodge of thoughts:



1) I saw the above e-card at someecards and got a good chuckle out of it. I think sometimes, when faced with something so absurd, there's nothing to do but laugh. It's not absurd that Heath Ledger might be awarded a posthumous Oscar (have the Oscars already happened?) - it's that the card is oddly true. A dead guy is more successful than me.

I guess that all depends on how you define success. I'm alive, he's dead - I've actually got one leg up on him just because I'm breathing and responding to stimuli. So technically I might be more successful.

2) Several people have told me lately that I am in touch with my emotions in a way that most people aren't. When I was a kid, I often hid my emotions, so much so that it backfired on me in a big way as a young adult. I didn't make the conscious choice to get in touch with my emotions; my thinking just seemed to shift (probably out of necessity), and out came Leslie, emotional whirlwind.

I still have to constantly remind myself that it's okay to feel. I've lost count of the times when I've said to Roy, "I don't know why I feel so bad/happy/angry/whatever about this." He always patiently explains to me that feelings just are. And then it all makes more sense. How sad is it that I still think that I need someone else's permission to feel the way I do?

Maybe it's not sad at all; maybe I am just still learning how to understand the need to have feelings. It is, after all, something I denied myself for quite a few years.

3) Things I want:

to dye my hair brown
to know what people say when they talk to themselves
a nap
a personal assistant
clarity
for that chick in Accounting to stop emailing me

4) I feel that lately I am just kind of floating around, or rather speeding around, and I really need something to become clear to me. I am completely aimless and yet I am hastening toward a rapidly-approaching future. I am always asking questions of the world and its inhabitants, but rarely do I feel that the world asks me anything. So here goes. Ask me something. Ask me anything. I promise I'll answer your questions later, should you decide to ask.

5) Thank you.

6 comments:

phairhead said...

Name the last 3 books you read

Angie Eats Peace said...

Roy is one smart guy, sometimes, we have to just feel, and nothing more. Not analyze, not explain away, not supress, just feel, and there is nothing wrong with that.

My question: What was/is your favorite cartoon?

tootie said...

What was your favorite vacation?

JennB said...

When I talk to myself I'm usually telling myself where to go, or what to do, like "Ok I need to turn right here, wait, did I miss it? Aw man, Ok turn around." Boring yes, but that's me! What do you talk to yourself about?

Crazy Daisy said...

a nap sounds so great!

Erika said...

What are you views on breastfeeding??

I mean for example: I was having dinner with my family couple years back and i remember my cousins uncle's wife started to proceed to breastfeed her daughter right there at the dinner table while we were eating. I mean of course she covered up but, I felt she should have gone to the bedroom or something.

What do you think???